A, Your situation is only as hopeless as you allow it to be. Look at it this way, your h is phoning, texting and coming by to spend time w/the children. He's brought you dinner and participated in some activities and repairs around the home. Many do not do these things. Many will ride off into the sunset and we do not hear from them until they are pinched for money. Your h has been one of the few that has been connected to you and your family since day one. So, no I don't see your relationship w/your h as hopeless. I see it as being a bit stuck right now, but it will become unglued at some point and he'll continue down the path.
What I think he's doing is dealing with some more depression if he's not contacting your d during the week. It could be that it's taking all of his energy to work his job and when he comes home, depression grabs him and he doesn't have any more energy to put on the happy mask for your daughter. The type of depression that gets them is very debilitating to them, i.e., it zaps their energy level. It takes a lot of energy to wear the happy mask or a contented mask when he's working and trust me, when the mask comes off, the person is a dead man walking and the site is unbelieveable.
Your h has been traveling the path for quite some time, therefore, I'm not surprised by the withdrawal that he's doing. They all do it at some point. As for the inlaws and your family not being with them for the holiday, well...it might have been taht your inlaws went elsewhere for the holiday and didn't have anything at their home or they may have opted not to participate in anything this year. At some point, many inlaws just let things be and allowed things to shake out, so to speak, or don't want to be involved in the drama of mlc and the lbs. It's hard on everyone, most especially the children. That's why it's very important to create new traditions, which I think you did yesterday. I was very glad to see that you and your family had a great bash.
A, I'm very sorry that he's taking a long time to come through this, but he will either come through it or not in his own time. Unfortunately his clock runs on "slow" and isn't on our time. That's why it's very important not to focus on him because it takes away too much of your valuable time doing things for you and your children.
Wishing you a pleasant weekend.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
