2 1/2 years later and on the mend...

[peaceful_spirit]

Treese,
THey lose their mind because they're trying to run from pain. They are trying to find the "fun" in their life that they lost being married with kids (or without kids).

Life isn't always fun. It's filled with responsibility... and pain. And when they find somebody or something that feels exciting, new and fun, they run after it. They look at their life filled with responsibility and decide that they're not happy and haven't been for a long time.

But the problem with this approach, which they eventually do learn, is that the responsibility and pain eventually catches up. Life isn't meant to be filled with just fun. We can't run around doing whatever we want. But our spouses don't realize this fact.

Anyway, this new "fun" thing usually takes the form of an OP. So, the OP is their escape... they represent everything fun in their life. We represent responsibility. Life with the OP is now fun, passionate, carefree... it's a high. It conjures up feelings in them they haven't felt in a long time. And this new feeling (which is infatuation, but they think is love), is what makes them believe they no longer love us. I mean, life hasn't been passionate and carefree and fun in years, right?

Eventually, reality sinks in. And the infatuation stage comes to an end. And what's left. Not much. THat is they they realize taht it is us whom they really love. We are the ones who really know them. We are the ones who have been with them through thick and thin. And the light starts to go on.

This process can take a long time. And when they do come back, there's a lot of hard work in repairing the M.

Going through an MLC (or whatever you want to call this stage where our spouse runs away and acts like a teenager) is very hard and very long. It takes a TON of patience on our part to survive. And the ONLY way to survive is to find peace within yourself. To find other sources of happiness while your spouse is acting like a nut job.

Sure, to others it seems like the right thing to do in this situation is to go after the OW. But what good would that do? It would make the situation so much worse...not to mention the inner turmoil it will cause you. It is better to just stay away and maintain inner peace.

Wow... I'm really long winded. Yikes. I guess I have a lot to say on the matter.