Trying ... well if you can call it that, I guess.

[Abbey]

Hi Purple,

Thank you for the compliment about the description. I'm trying to write as exactly as I can about how this all feels. So many of us in the same boat, so many of us needing to feel like we're not alone.

I think our spouses BLAME us for *something* that lead them to their affairs. Strange to think that it's our fault they had an affair and can rationalize it as such, but they do. It's the ultimate in denial on their part. Emotional cowardly-ness. (is that a word?)

In my case, H believes I had an affair and has rationalized his insecurity/feelings that I let someone else into our world as the reason for his justification for his affair and acting like he's been abducted by aliens or has a flippin' brain tumor. It's my fault he didn't work on us and instead spent his days on the golf course, uhhuh *sarcasm on* LOL

I'm ahead of the game I guess that I know what's up my H's back end. Doesn't answer how I'm quite supposed to address it, other than to wait him out. Patience etc. Do you know what really is/was up your H's back end?

It is painful at times to be around them, isn't it. I'm actually relieved that I don't have to see him this weekend. But just try to think of the bigger picture. And do like some of us do... play nice, do your time with them and then go lay down and recuperate. Seriously. 2 days ago, I needed sleep, he surprised me with a phone call yesterday, instead of a total zap out, I went and did something physical - cut the grass. Sometimes I nap, sometimes I go do something I KNOW he thinks I can't cope with, just to spite him, whether he knows it or not

I'm going to head over to your thread because I"m confused about the morose act he's engaging in.

My critters are 4 cats. 3 pure breeds and a Heinz 57.

Abbey