CW-- Just jumped back into your thread. I swear, who gives these guys these scripts? Sara was right, in that what he is saying is NOT THE TRUTH. You know the truth, you know that what you had was real. Do not let him take that away from you. He is doing mental gymnastics to make what he is doing ok. You do not have to accept his perception. You were also there, in the marriage. Your perception is valid.
Try to finish the detaching part, as quickly as possible. I don't care if he says its ok for you to share--don't do it anymore. It is not safe, with the person he is right now. He will use what you say against you, twist it around to make himself feel better about his choices.
No more talk about the relationship. Stick with parenting and money issues only. Treat him as a business partner (even one you don't particularly like)--be cordial, keep it professional. Vent here, call a friend, talk to the IC--but not him. He is still where he is, and won't have a chance to ever face his regrets if you continue to be the foil against which he can spin these stories. Leave him in his own vacuum.
I, too, have a mean-spirited x. It is what they do to push us away, to make us want to hate them, thereby validating their decision to leave.
I only have a few months farther along in this mess than you, I think. Keep up that strong vibe that you started the tread with--go back and read it. Its what will keep you grounded.
Please, try to remember that this is not about you...don't let him stomp on your self-worth.
