My daughter and niece are playing boisterously upstairs. It's nice to hear noise in the house rather than the quiet with underlying strain.
While talking with a friend today, tears started flowing. I hoped that once this was over I eventually would not be alone, even though I know it's good to be able to stand on my own two feet and be good to myself. The tears started when I thought of the whole menu of crap that I've had, experienced, wondering who would ever want to get involved with me. He jumped in and said that everyone going through a divorce feels that way. He may have said more, but my mind fixed on his initial statement.
Everyone who goes through the divorce process feels this. And yet I see everyone around me who's experiencing this as wonderful, caring, compassionate, interesting people. Perhaps that is the balance. I can make myself feel negative and sorry for myself.. or let myself feel good and positive for what is best in me.
At the entree restaurant, I saw a couple and said hi.. chatted for a bit. The husband works at the same company as spouse.. and I said.. "I guess you've heard that spouse left." They thought he left the company. "Uhh.. no he left me." adding he is having a relationship with a woman from work who he was with during the marriage. The husband said he didn't know if he'd ever be able to see spouse in the same light again.
I wonder if I say too much.. probably. I just can't seem to take the high road.. say "We're separated, in the process of divorcing." Hate it.
