sex with a WAW

[christarn]

Hi Mike...Two things come to my mind...I am a WAW...been at this DB thing for a year now...me n my H used to do the whole FWB (friends with benefits) thing...but think about this. 1. what is that doing for your self respect? she hurt you...and just waltzes in and has sex??? 2. there are 4 steps to reconciling a R/M I don't know if you have seen them on the boards...but trying to mix them up will just cause a lot of confusion...I learned both of these things from my DB coach...here are the 4 steps
1. decrease negative feelings...this takes time and some space
2. friendship...work on just spending time as friends, rebuilding trust, being able to talk, easy conversation, NO, I REPEAT, NO, ZERO, ZILTCH, NADA, R/M talk!!!
3. Romance and Dating...this is where sex comes into play
4. reconciliation

The DB coach I have is awesome, she says when you mix the steps, and negative feelings are still there, friendships haven't been formed and your just having sex to have sex...it makes things all the more difficult.

I can't help but wonder if it was a control tactic as well...she wanted to see if she still could "get to you!!"

this is just my 2 cents worth....

Always know there is hope in any situation...she came to you, and not anyone else...which is positive!! I know how hard it is...but think long term, set your goals! Aim high and focus on the end result. saving your M and what you have to do/need to do to accomplish that!

Let the rope go...it's a game of tug of war...if she is pulling and you are pulling...let it go...

develop a ducks back...let the things she says/does just slide off. go have fun with your friends tomorrow...if she doesn't want to ride with you...let it go...drive separate...smile, be polite, just have fun...hard to do, but you can do it...

about her attitude, I had a lot of attitude with my H when I was going thru all of this. I refer to myself during that time frame as the mean angry monster....as that is something I can say on the boards!!:) In retrospect, it wasn't really him I was angry with, it was myself, and issues within myself I needed to deal with. she's taking something out on you...the question is what and why?

i have probably rambled enough...hope the jabbers help! ?'s ask anytime...i've been around these parts for a while..happy to help!

take care of yourself
happy 4th!
christarn