February..... I had always left the "getaway" planning to H. I thought, he's the man, he knows if we can spend the money, he decides when to treat me...blah blah blah. Okay, the "new" me e-mailed him & said;
"if you want a sexy hot romantic fun weekend ...book us a room out of town for Valentine's day & the next night also, I'll take care of the rest of the arrangements."
We had a fantastic amazing 3 days, we made love about 7 times in those 3 days & nights.
Then we came home.....drum roll please *rata tat tat* lol
Our D said she didn't feel good. I gave her some pepto & sent her to bed. Sunday she felt crummy. I got her some 7-up & soda crackers & made her a sick bed in my bed. Everybody in town had a really bad stomach flu. We thought she had it. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday she laid in my bed in a fetal position & it hurt to move. She was vomiting & had diarrhea, no fever. Thursday she felt better, she wanted Taco Bell...blech...I said no, & got her some soup.
I got a call from my ob/gyn, she said I was positive for two types of pre-cancerous cells and should have a hysterectomy as soon as possible, considering my family history. I tell her I have to get back to her when D is feeling better.
Friday D was worse. Saturday she was showing signs of dehydration, confusion, lethargy, pale white lips. I took her to urgent care. They took blood & urine, gave her two IV's, & diagnosed her with a bladder infection. Gave us meds & sent us home. Sunday morning...she's even worse. I was done. I had been checking on this girl around the clock every 2 hours or so for 7 full days. I told H I wanted to take her to the hospital. He said let's wait another day. HUGE FIGHT, 1 hour later...we took her to the ER. Condensing the story here, her appendix had ruptured Wednesday night. She had an abscess in her abdomen. They would drain it, put her on massive antibiotics for 17 days, then remove the appendix in 4-6 weeks. I lived at the hospital for 6 days with D. H was busy working. He didn't even offer to bring me a candy bar or soda, or magazine or anything. I was pissed. When he came to visit D, he'd talk on the phone doing work. I was pissed. I missed OM.
My ob/gyn office called, they have me scheduled for surgery on March 5th. Uh, that probably won't work. Reschedule it please.
I want to run away from home again. I can't do all this. For the next 7 days I'm a nurse. I flush/drain her abdomen every 4 hours around the clock. I give her two different antibiotics every 2 & 4 hours around the clock. One of them thru a pic line that goes straight to her heart. I'm scared the whole time, but I keep it all in. H offers to help. I don't let him. I'm scared he'll forget the heparin flush, or forget to clean the pic line, or forget to take the one medicine out of the fridge. I don't trust him.
The day she got the drain removed from her abdomen, we were going to dinner to celebrate. All of us in the SUV, & a full size custom van hit us right at my door & front quarter panel. I was trapped in the car & the engine is smoking. (Geez, this stuff is good, I couldn't even make up something this crazy). I yell at the kids to get out of the car, H gets out, I climb over the console & get out. H says it was steam, not smoke. I was flipping out inside, but I never showed it. I consoled D who was flipping out on the outside. I wanted H to hold me, tell me it was going to be fine, that I was safe. I wanted him to protect me & rescue me. I felt like I was drowning. H wanted to discuss the details of the accident with me, the kids, then the officer, then the other driver.
to be continued
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I wanted H to hold me, tell me it was going to be fine, that I was safe. I wanted him to protect me & rescue me. I felt like I was drowning. H wanted to discuss the details of the accident with me, the kids, then the officer, then the other driver. 
