OK, I must be boring everyone to death. Beware, probably another novel coming......
So here is where my stupid snooping is going to kick me in the butt. Can't remember if I told you all here ,but I figured out H's email password. I'm ashamed to admit. In 12 years together, I have NEVER snooped on anything with H before the last 3 months. And while I've found no evidence of affair or anything, now that I know it I can't seem to stop checking every so often.
So anyway, today I see that H bought some tickets (had a receipt) so I click on it and it's for High School Musical (the touring Broadway production). It's in a few weeks, and he bought 3 tickets. He just bought them this morning. I have no idea what to think. Are they for him, D6 (she loves this movie so I know this is all for her obviously) and me, or him, D6 and one of her friends or what? He hasn't wanted to do ANYTHING all together since he moved out, and just the other day when I suggested something for us all to do, he said no, he didn't want to confuse the girls.
So I can't imagine he is including me (of course I secretly hope he is. I'd love to see D6's eyes light up, and go with them)but if not, then who is that 3rd ticket for? God, I hate this. The man I have trusted with EVERYTHING for the last 12 years, now I find myself sneaking around, trying to figure him out around every turn. With my guard up (as much as it can be). This is just no way to live. Anyway, the tickets are for the end of July, so I guess I'll know soon enough
Got D2's ultrasound lined up today (hospital called fast). So we have that next Thursday.
Nothing big planned tomorrow. H was supposed to come tonight, but he ended up being sick at work all day today (now has what the girls had this past weekend) so he went home. He has to work tomorrow night, so he may come by during the day tomorrow to see the girls a bit before he has to work, but depends on how he is feeling. I felt so bad to know he was hurting so much. He NEVER gets sick to the point that it takes him down, and I could hear it on the phone today both times we spoke. I was wishing he would have been here so I could've cooked him a nice meal, put him in bed and just taken care of him.
I feel like I neglected him so much in the last 2 years with my depression and everything I was going through with my family, and I so wish I could have a chance to just nurture him. How do you do that separated and getting ready to divorce?
Can all the DBing in the world have ANY chance if the person you want is still not in a place of forgiveness?
Chris
I am a snoop as well,plus a former IT professional and I admit to checking W's email too... not a good thing because i find out things i don't want to know..like who she has told that she is D'ing me etc... horrors if i ever see something from someone i don't know (if you know what i mean)
Unfortunately i am not one to give you advice.. i am too new at this and just starting to get good at it.. but i will be forever indebted if things pan out ...
