Officially Here Now

[7 Year Itch]

So talking to myself again. If anyone should pop by please read through my last week of posts. I have several questions mixed in there!

So out of the blue my 22 year old nephew called to tell me he is in town (on a road trip) with this friends. So he is going to come by for a couple hours in the morning to see me and the girls. I called H to let him know. He's been in my nephews life since he was 10. We used to take him camping with us when he was little, did a lot with him. H was like a surrogate father figure to him alot as he struggled a bit in childhood. Anyway, I called and asked if he could pick the girls up a bit later due to my nephew coming by. I then said if you'd like to see him, you are welcome to come by (we haven't seen him since he moved out of state 2 years ago). To which he said "no, I think it would just be too akward for everyone. I'll come of the girls later".

I know it would be awkward but at the same time, I don't know how not only he can just give up me, and our family, but the extended family too. Now granted, there is a lot of Jerry Springer type of drama on my side of the family (I'm the most normal one. Ha ha).... so I'm sure his loss isn't as great as mine. But to just not have any interested in seeing his nephew?

I grieve not only the loss of my family, and my husband but the loss of that entire side of my family. They've been my family for 12 years.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention, H informed me he is going back to NY to visit the week D6 goes back to school. He didn't check dates, so he will miss her first day back. We've always taken her together that first day, so this will be the first one he misses.

Everyday it seems something new pops up to rub salt in my wounds. It can be something slight, but everything without my H feels just magnified

I wish I could GAL, and LRT to the hilt. I'm still failing, and going to lost my marriage for SURE if I don't get on this. I get the principals, I read the books, I read the success stories on here. Yet in his presence and even over the phone, all I can seem to do is cry and beg. I'm an idiot.

Chris