hi Purple so much of what I hear you write sounds a lot like me & my sitch (except for the OM/OW)
not much to add except I understand. H & I are going back to counseling just for communication skills. Our are horrible. We try to talk through the hurts & what the other needs, but we just seems to 95% of the time shutting down and not getting it said or listened in a way that is productive.
I feel (opps I mean I think) until we can get better at this skill, trying to work through what needs to change, what the old hurts are, etc to improve the R will have to wait.
hugs to you today.
Hey Bridge, you may want to go find & read my lightbulb moment. Mine & H's conversations used to go just like you & your H's. It's where I talk about having an empty love bucket, & one of us needing a thick raincoat & a big umbrella.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
