Imagine a bubble around you. He gets to keep his emotions. You keep yours. Okay ? The bubble can expand far away from you when you need more space, & it can move in right next to your shape when you're with your D & safe. It's YOUR bubble. You control it. 5. We're so simiar, I think you're talking about me sometimes.
So are we triplets now?
I like your analogy of the bubble. It's hard for me to not take on H's emotions or care-take so his anger does not surface. Because when it does, I take the brunt of it. Such a complicated dance he & I do. Breaking the pattern by detaching or un-meshing (is that a word?) enough to let him be hurt, frustrated, sad, whatever... without taking on & suffering the repricusions of it.
Th counselor said yesterday I 'choose" to be affected by his negative emotions, name-calling, condescending, bitterness..basically his temper tantrums.
So how does one in a relationship choose to be affected only by the positive emotions & behaviours of the other?
To me, all I can see right now is you choose to be affected by both or neither. Maybe that is why we walk away? The effect of the positive does not outweigh the effect of the negative.
Thoughts on that as well as how to do you establish/keep the bubble in place?
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
