Hope4us struggle, part 6

[Hope4us]

I appreciate your concern WDID. This was his decision. He asked me if we could move. I said what if mom doesn't want to move and he said then we should just move without her.

A while ago, when our marriage was in a whole lot worse shape than it is now he asked me if I would ever leave him and I told him "of course not" and at that time he said he wanted to stay here so I told him I wouldn't go anywhere until he was out on his own. So when he said he wanted to move and I was pretty sure my wife would fence sit on the move, it was a question he had to be asked.

Should I have said "we're moving whether your mom comes or not"? That would be showing him I don't care about his feelings. Only he can tell me whether moving is worth it to him or not. He knows I want to move so by him making the decision for himself whether he wants to move whether she goes or not I feel had to be left up to him. If I go about it the way you suggest, wouldn't he resent it some that I took him away from his mom if he didn't want to go?

Update....I talked to W again about the move, and it's as Pup suggested it would be, she's coming up with all kinds of excuses. "I don't want the stress of a move and new job". I said "just a month ago you were looking for a new job/company, so what's different now?" No answer. She's trying her best to convince S16 he's happy here and doesn't want to move. I said "S16 has told me he wants to move, with or without you" and she had a pained look on her face. She said "I'll talk to him when he comes home Sunday" so we'll play it by ear for a few more days to see if her talk with him shows her how serious he is.

Thing is, I can see W being nervous about moving home. She's probably worried that if our marriage doesn't make it she'd rather be here than in our hometown because she likes it here more. So I can see her apprehension.

No pressure for now. Just going to enjoy the long weekend. And she's been pretty decent today, even after the move talk.

Again WDID, I appreciate you keeping me honest.