I found a text from my wife that said ILY to this OM. That sent me over the edge for months. Here was a guy who came back into her life after 20 years and was being told what should only of been said to me.
Was I angry, was I hurt you bet. How could she do this to me. I was there thru the good and now the bad (so I thought). I was there helping with the kids, the house, making ends meet and he was reaping the rewards. It sucked.
Did I want to hold her, make her feel better are you kidding me. I wanted to hunt him down, I wanted to disown her. The only thing that kept me sane was hopeing it did not get P. I snooped, tryed to figure out her cell phone lock code. Drove by his house you name it I did it.
So no I will not raise my hand.
Your H is a better man than me in this department. I give him credit for that.
Would I do it now, yes. I see my part in this mess and I feel right now I could but a couple of months ago now way.
I'm sure my H felt all of that too. I don't think my H is a "better man", I think he was at a different point in his growth. I was at a different point in my growth. It's really not fair of me to compare two different couples, & how they handle things & I sure am not here to judge any person for how they handle their sitch. There are sooooo many extenuating circumstances. All I can do, is share my story & hope to create some "aha" moments for other people. CBK gave me one of my most precious "aha" moment. I'm paying it forward, & maybe healing some more in the process.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
