This morning I was having a rough one.. i couldn't stop thinking about W.. still can't , it's driving me nuts, we spoke real briefly this morning and she mentioned she was going to the bank to change her name there Monday and had a bunch of running around to do.. as much as i want to save my M.. i am getting real close to just saying F it.. I love her.. don't know if she realizes it... anyways i'll go over the stupid papers tomorrow and go from there, i guess i just need reassurance that everything will be allright...
Yeah, my H was bragging to all his friends about me pretty much up until the day he slept with OW. THEN he wanted to tell me how bad things were....THEN he wanted a S....THEN he wanted a D....it was like a light bulb switched from my perspective. In his mind though, he was probably going through the motions for a while and the "connection" he made with OW was just the thing that pushed him over the edge.
If they will make you sad, don't do it. If they will give you clues on what to work on, perhaps - but use them CONSTRUCTIVELY and don't get wrapped up in them and sad/depressed. If they give you hope that you can get back to that, then sure. But it's about you and your PMA.
Take a deep breath.
Go work out or something.
(((sawks)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Yeah, my H was bragging to all his friends about me pretty much up until the day he slept with OW. THEN he wanted to tell me how bad things were....THEN he wanted a S....THEN he wanted a D....it was like a light bulb switched from my perspective. In his mind though, he was probably going through the motions for a while and the "connection" he made with OW was just the thing that pushed him over the edge.
If they will make you sad, don't do it. If they will give you clues on what to work on, perhaps - but use them CONSTRUCTIVELY and don't get wrapped up in them and sad/depressed. If they give you hope that you can get back to that, then sure. But it's about you and your PMA.
Take a deep breath.
Go work out or something.
(((sawks)))
Can't workout i am at work, and it's so quiet.. the Stampede parade is going on outside, so noisy
here is something from W's cousin, i asked a question this was response..
"As for T she is still really mad. I don't think she will forget what happened. You weren't honest, she trusted you and she got burned"
How the heck do i respond to that
My answer to me is : Keep your PMA.. no matter what noone can take that away, i can understand W is mad because of a trust issue but will she be purposely hurtful now? I doubt it, but it will drive me nuts thinking she MIGHT be dancing with other guys tomorrow
What can I do to make her less angry at me? What would you suggest I do to fix that? Should I have lied and not told her about it? It takes a lifetime to build trust (in our case 4 years ) and only a minute to burn it.. that’s why my motto recently changed to “if you always tell the truth you never have to remember what you said” .. do u think she knows I love her still ?( again keeping this between you and I)..
i trust cousin keeps it between us, we are pretty good friends.. she has said I am a great guy, i make her feel good about herself, i know i am a good guy, and i screwed up , now i am paying the consequence..
I don't think you can do anything other than what your already doing. And your right if you tell the truth you don't have to remember the lies.. Ya i'm pretty sure she know's you still love her, but sometimes that isn't enough. I'm sure she loves you(you don't just quit loving someone over night), but once again Love just isn't enough some times.
my response:
T has learnt a lot of stories about me in the past month that she never knew.. funny stuff /sad stuff/ stuff..
One story I don’t know if I ever told her, my last girlfriend before her (who lives in the US).. I had bought an engagement ring for her, but she turned me down and that was it, I was devastated for months.. (I ever tell u that story? ) …
Yeah just keep being the best me I can be.. there is always hope.. (without hope we are all doomed)..
me:Also, T has told you she is still very mad at me? What happens when she decides she isn’t mad anymore but still loves me? (duh it’s so slow here today)..
Cousin:Really T doesn't talk to much about it, but i would say she is, sometime it comes up what happened, but not very often(i think T has had more time to process it).
Me:What do you mean sometimes it comes up what happened..? You know I would like to have nothing better than not to have done what I did, but I made a bad decision.. I just finished week 5 of 8 in counseling and will never play cards etc again.. not worth it.. I know I am very addicted, so no choice but to never do it again.. like an alcoholic that can’t drink. I would make myself suffer if it meant keeping T.
A guy I go with, who lives in Carstairs, super nice guy had the same thing with his girlfriend , he thought he’d never see her/talk to her again but guess what, they are starting to be friends again.. cool. Anyways that’s my rant for the day..
I know T says things that make me remember that she cares/loves me. Stuff like remembering my smell (the other day).. and other little things (I know it’s small to most, but huge to me).. I am sure she knows I really love her still..
Cousin:some time something will happen when i'm around T(nothing in perticular) and she will relect back on what happen and say something(kind of like you rantin). Really though T doesn't say alot to me about it, and maybe thats cuz you and i are so close(i don't know). But in the same sense your right she will say things like "thats smells like D". Sometimes people end up back together after things like this, but sometimes there never will. So it's ok to hold out for hope, but don't always bank on it(if you know what i mean).
It's a holiday here in the US today, so most of us aren't at work and are doing our own family stuff.
You gonna go work out after work?
It will take time to earn back her trust. You do that by answering her questions honestly, not keeping secrets, and obviously not lying. However, it will take TIME.
You have a ton of opportunities to improve your stitch now while you are living together, just take advantage of them. And hang in there.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
