Hey everyone, I've been off the forums for a little while because I've been overseas for my job. Jeff, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through but I sense that you have a sense of peace with what is going on. I say don't give up yet. That doesn't mean don't do what you are doing. Just don't get down on the possibility that things can get better is some way. Your wife is obviously sick. With the right kind of help, she may just snap out of it. You may not be there to be her husband again but you should hope and pray for it because your kids deserve a healthy mom. Have faith in our Lord. He is amazing.
I had another shocker last night. Some of the new friends that I've met in my new city were actually friends with one of the crazy women that my WAW hung out with after moving. Sooo...I recently was the DD for my buds who went to the same bar where the infidelity that brought down my marriage happened (from phone records/CC records) while I was out of town with my previous job. I even saw the OM (just one of probably many OM/OW) but didn't say anything. It was wierd to see a mid-30s man working at a bar at 2am. He looked like an AC Slater (Saved by the Bell) has been. I did find out a couple of things. 1.) He didn't know she was married and most of them assume they hooked up. 2.) My WAW was telling people that she was separated and getting a divorce because her husband cheated on her...and thats why she was appearantly on the prowl. 3.) They didn't know she was also pursuing homosexual meetings as well. I guess its like opening up another wound. For one, she was telling dudes that she was separated before I even knew something was wrong... I was fat, dumb and happy thinking I had a faithful wife that I loved with all my heart. I even encouraged her to go out while I was away because she seemed so down that she didn't have many friends at our new locale. Secondly, I was nothing but faithful to her. In fact, she was the only girl that I had ever done anything more than kiss in my entire life. I struggle with such a guilty concience that I could've never/EVER cheated. In fact, I still tell people I'm married when I've gone out and girls have asked me out. I just don't feel like fully giving up yet. A group called rejoice ministries has given me hope. I truly feel that my wife is facing demons with her lies/infidelity/homosexuality. I feel pity for her and know that she needs prayer right now to right her life. If I'm in pain over this, she must be hurting soo much to act the way that she is. Maybe I'm wierd. Maybe I'm too compassionate. My family doesn't understand why I'm not angry. But the truth is that it doesn't help me to be mad at her all the time. I know I'm a sinner too. I've fallen short like us all. I just feel better praying for her. What an accomplishment if when I die, I see her there in heaven. As wierd as it sounds, I'd be genuinely happy for her.
