I'm halfway through the 5 love languages at the moment. You are right, sometimes it helps to read and other times it is hard to detach.
I really liked its approach actually. I have found there are a lot of analytical books out there but not that many that tell you ways of expressing love, they mostly tell you how you have gone wrong. I am still a bit confused by what my h's love language is so maybe when I have finished it might help to discuss it with you as you may be able to look more objectively. Would that be ok?
With Mars and Venus, I haven't read the actual one yet as it wasn't in stock but I read 'Mars and Venus Together Forever'. It was amazingly insightful in understanding the opposite sex and did help me with my interaction with my h. For example, when I was in my meeting with my h he yawned. In my head alarm bells rang and I thought, oh my god he is bored with what I am saying, how disrespectful etc. etc. and I had to stop myself and just say no, he stated when we met that he was tired and yawning is a symptom of tiredness so I let it go and 'took him at his word'. It averted tension. I also let there be silences too which before would have made me very uncomfortable as I don't need silences to think when I am having a conversation - to me that says dialogue has stopped and alarm bells would ring again. I realised that those silences were helping the dialogue as he could think and absorb and give a response. This helped both of us to feel more relaxed.
I would say that I am very typical woman and he is very typical man and we are both quite stubborn!
The only thing I would say is that is made me analyse all my past behaviour and I got a bit lost and absorbed in that - the old blame stick came out again! So I reread the chapters in DBing on solutions and not obsessing about the past as you can't change it and am getting back on track.
