Thank you for posting to me.. especially about D2. She'll be D3 in a couple of months.
Anyway, she's in daycare again today so I spoke with her teacher this morning. It seems the issue isn't the letters and numbers etc... her concern is working on getting her to focus. Getting her to do as she's been asked. She said that they are very consistent and it's a challenge but that we (H & I) need to be consistent in making her finish things that she starts and reward her when she does.. which I feel like I am consistent but I'll really keep tabs on what it is that I'm doing and hopefully help her out. I think the biggest issue is just that she has so much energy and she's very extroverted... but I haven't been trained in "Early Childhood Education" so what do I know?
Anyway, other than still feeling like I need to be a much better parent... which is kind of all consuming in my mind at the moment... Here's an H update:
I had an email from H.. where he bought a piece of art to go in our new condo???????????? Is he from mars or what? He also called and asked if we could meet for coffee today since I'm going into the city to see my career rep.
I hope you are all doing well.. and for my American friends today I hope you have a wonderful 4th of July!
I'll check back in tonight after D2 goes to bed to see how you all are doing!
Back to D. You're a great Mom and don't let the school system make you feel any less so. My D is 6 (almost 7) and sometimes I have to ask her to do something or call out to her 6 times before she either does it or asks what I want. It'll drive you batty!
AND yes your H is nuts, my dear. But let him buy what he wants and let him act as if. Soon he'll believe it too. Enjoy the coffee!
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
To a 2 or 3 year old, everything is new and exciting. Exploring the world, and learning by observation, touching, and interaction is what they do. Following directions, and completing tasks, not so much! Those things make it easier for a day care provider to take care of a bunch of kids, but are not necessarily what a child that age should, or even can, be doing.
As long as your little one is learning about the world (you can tell that, easily enough), healthy, and happy, you are doing fine!
W2G, Are you concerned D may have ADD or is upset by the separation or something like that? It seems clear that you are a caring parent despite all the turmoil in your life. Having 2 kids myself I think what Jeff says makes a lot of sense to me. We got these sort of complaints consistently about by current 7 year old from the time he was in kindergarten but I'm still not sure if its ADD or just his own way of developing - so I'm still on the fence with this and the professional opinions also vary a lot. My own response to it is mostly to be more patient with him. At any rate 2.5 years seems a bit too early to be very task oriented.
I used to get all these anxiety attacks about my kids not being "normal", having issues etc. I don't anymore. I can see they are healthy and if they turn out to be a bit... "weird" I know where they got it from... Me!! LOL!! Love ya K
I have checked in on all of you but haven't commented on all of your threads yet. I hope to do that over the next couple of days.
So, a couple of things going on..
Firstly my Dad's brother died yesterday. He's had cancer now for nearly 2.5 years so we knew it was coming. The man is actually my godfather but due to my parents divorcing when I was very young... and then my Dad and I ignoring each other for a few years I really lost contact with my Dad's side of the family.. so I feel sad, for my Dad, because he and I have gotten much closer over the last few years.. and I feel bad that I didn't know my uncle/godfather better. I'll be taking D2 to the funeral with me on Saturday. When I told H about it he asked me to forward on his condolences to my Dad on his behalf. I told him that I would do that but that I thought my Dad would prefer to hear from him if he was comfortable with that. Well, I guess H called my Dad... and my Dad was over the moon that he called. My Dad told me (today when I checked in with him) that H's call "tickled me pink" and "it was the first time I've felt on the verge of tears since hearing that my brother died." When H mentioned the conversation he said how both my Dad and my Dad's Girlfriend were so kind to him on the phone and told him they missed him and hoped to see him some time soon.
Secondly, my H's cousin, cousin's wife and two kids came for a visit. They came Wednesday afternoon and spent the night at our home and then left today. H had to work last night but he came home to the house after work and then we spent the day with his cousin's family today. They don't know he doesn't live here... and I don't volunteer the information... although if they came out and asked of course I wouldn't lie about it.. it's just crazy to me that he's been gone for over 6 months (we officially are in month 7 now) and yet the majority of his family are completely oblivious.
Next, the painter came and gave us a quote. It's a few hundred dollars cheaper than the other quote and it's a relative of my H's colleague so we're going to go with him. He'll be coming the week of the 24th and then we'll be putting the house on the market.. I'm nervous. I really hope we get a good price and that it won't be on the market for an extended period of time. The real estate market seems to be cooling significantly in my area. Anyway, I've started packing up some stuff that D2 and I won't need in the apartment.. we'll pull it back out once the condo is ready (in late 2009 or early 2010). So I was telling H that I've packed up some of the nice dishes that we rarely use.. but that he could have them for his apartment if he'd like them.. and his response was "those are really nice dishes just store them". Not sure if it's newsworthy or not but thought I should mention it.
Lastly, I think I'm just going to ignore the results of D2's daycare report. I appreciate all of your kindness.. Everything that you've said and the few of my friends that are teachers and my other friends with kids say the same thing.. it's too early for me to be worrying about it. I just need to let her be a kid. I do want to mention that I don't think she has a hearing problem though... she sings along to songs with ease.. she can hear me when I speak to her in the car where I am talking to the front windshield and she is sitting behind me. I think she's just not ready yet. She will let me know when she is.
This funeral tomorrow is starting to get to me. I'm feeling kind of low today and am really hoping to avoid the "where's H" questions tomorrow... just don't feel like talking about it any more.
Also,
I know that OW is still contacting him. They still work together. And although there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.. it makes me very angry.. and I am angry at him. I don't understand why her friendship is so important. She's a little sk@nk in my opinion. Sorry, I know that's rude to say but I just hate her. I think she is a horrible excuse for a human being.
I am angry when I think of him saying how he's working on things... trying to get his head on straight. Sounds like complete bull sh!t to me when she's still in the picture. Even if she's just a "friend". Don't understand how he could tell her he has feelings for her and then it just abruptly stop.. even though they work together. Isn't possible in my opinion.
And if he works with her it seems she's always going to be in the picture... and I'm just sick of it... A huge part of me thinks that she can just have him...
Sorry, guess I'm not being Miss Positivity today.. I think with the funeral tomorrow it just brings to mind how fragile life is and how we shouldn't be taking the people we care about for granted.. never knowing how much time we'll have them in our lives...
I think a funeral would get you down a bit, anyway. So, I think for the weekend, try not to think too much about you H, and his OW! Hopefully you won't get a lot of questions, since you are not the focal point of the activities, at all. Just one foot in front of the other!
I like your conclusion about your D. I really think that many daycare providers are more concerned with what will make their life easier than with the actual development of the kids. Give her an extra hug tonight!
