To be here or not to be here

[Snow White]

Are you on fb?

Yup I just sent you an email.

So it looks like things are moving forward. I have not talked much since I started posting. Maybe because I have been scared to.

I have allowed H for the last 5 nights to sleep on my couch in the basement. Although he claimed never to have lived with OW (just stayed tehre once in awhile) now he seems to have nowhere to go. I can verify this since I could see where he was living up until this point(for the few days) from my front window.

It would appear that things are actually done at this point with OW, this is from some of the extreme actions my H has taken which I will not post. However,H still does not seem to want the M.

He is really sending mixed messages though, and I have not been good at remaining detatched(as if I ever was). We took party in a major annual family function-for his family- this week, he out of the blue decided we would be participating(after avoiding his family for months and not attending last year even though everything was good then). I made a comment about half way through that I was really frustrated and he said why? I said - I just don't understand how you don;t want this? He said - Who says I don't want this?

The appraiser for my house called the other day - I had not picked up the message - H picked it up but purposely did not pass it on. He called again this morning, he is coming Monday and following that I will be able to buy my house. I have an appt as mentioned with the Lawyer on Thursday.

H got up and left last night as I was on the phone, said he went to the bank - in another town - I asked Y he said he opened a new account as I mentioned and was going to have his cheques transferred there. I guess we are really going down that road.

I was tired last night so I didn't take one of those little pills when I went to bed, well I slept but I dreamt. I dreamt that I found an email from last August between the 2 of them (affair supposedly started in Dec) and a few others that were disturbing at the time but I can't remember now.

Have the day off today - going to make my house look spectacular - so I can get a good appraisal - wait - doesn;t that mean I would owe H more?