Hi Tal, Well, I'm not great, but I'm not bad either. I don't like to complain because my situation isn't as hurtful as most on here. We see each other at least 3 times a week. Sunday a week ago he helped me take the camper and jet skis to the lake. He wasn't able to stay because of work, he is in in construction and of course summer is his busiest time. He was able to come up Friday afternoon and stay with us through Sunday. He brought the boat so we really enjoyed ourselves.
I didn't see him Monday, but I did talk to him a couple of times. Tuesday night he came over and ate supper with us and weedeated my lawn.
He is still at his house and I'm still at mine. I just wonder if we will ever be back living in the same house. Things are so much better than they were a year ago. That was when I was served with D papers. So I'm trying to be patient and calm....
Thanks for checking in on me.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Mattie, The beach was very nice. My youngest DD17, H's cousin's W and their daughter and I all went. We lazed on the beach all day and shopped and ate at fun restaurants at night.
We came home for a week and then headed to the lake the following week. DD17, one of her friends and I went up on Sunday. H helped us go and set everything up. He wasn't able to come up until Friday because of work. My oldest DD20 and her friend also came up on Friday. It was nice. I must say my tan is coming along quite nicely.
I hope you are doing well. Please fill me in!
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
You have every right to say whatever you want here and not feel like you're complaining. We know what you've been through. Just because you guys are trying to work on things doesn't mean it's not still hard. There's the questions that go through your mind and the doubt still there. I remember after my H's first affair was over and we reconciled, I freaked every time he got into even a slightly low mood. I thought....oh, here we go again, he's going to leave. It will take time. That's for sure.
The way you've been here for so many of us...you let out whatever you're feeling and don't ever think that we see it as complaining. You've come a long way.
Hugs to you!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I'm a fool... The exH of OW called me tonight. He said that his son told him that he and his mother stayed at my H's house last night.
I called H and he of course denied. He wanted to know who told me. I told him the son told the exH. He started trying to fuss at me for talking to the exH. I told him to wait a minute. I told him I didn't see where it was so wrong to talk to the exH on the phone when "she" was still working for him.
He finally admitted that she stayed the night. I told him he needed to contact his lawyer and get things going again. He said no, you do it. I said it is you that wants out so badly, so you need to be the one to do it.
I told him I couldn't understand him saying he wanted to work things out and then pulling this. I refreshed his memory of when he told me these things because I knew he would try to act like he didn't say them. Not much he could say when I gave him specific times.
He then tried to act like an a$$. I told him, "Look, I don't want to fight with you, I just want to have an adult conversation and with you telling me the truth and not lying." He then said "when, did I lie?" I said, " A few minutes ago when you told me that she didn't stay at your house"
He asked me if I wanted the divorce. I told him I was hoping to restore our marriage, but I knew it couldn't be done with only one party trying. He said,"How do you feel about me?" I said," I think you know how I feel for you or I wouldn't have tried so hard to work on our marriage" I said "If I can't make you happy then you need to go be with her if she makes you happy and quit leading me on". He then told me he still cared for me. He said but he was just afraid it wouldn't work. I told him he was absolutely right because with three people in a marriage it wouldn't work.
He said he saw positive changes in me, but I still hadn't changed totally to suit him. I said,"I don't think that is possible, and you need to quit making up excuses".
I have a question for everyone about the divorce. He filed the first time and my lawyer requested that he pay legal fees. If I file can I ask that he pay for legal fees since he filed the first time? I know I need to ask my lawyer, but I was just wondering if anyone knew.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
You are not the fool! Fools know nothing of love and sacrifice.
I am so sorry. I wish I had some answers for you. I just don't understand people, like our spouses, who don't have any regard for truth and honesty. Why lie over and over again? Pure selfishness is all I can fathom.
I think at this point, morally speaking, it doesn't matter whether you file or he files. Biblically speaking you are now well within your right to seek a divorce. It's your choice now.
I don't have a clue on the legal aspect. I am afraid your H may be going to do nothing but cake eat at this point, forcing you to file. That is so wrong, so injurious. Doubly so.
I hope and pray he will come to his senses. But some people are determined to be short sighted.
I am so shocked. After all this time of not being with her other than work, to just jump into having her stay over with her son. That is so shocking. What an ass!
