Lan, My W and I argued like hell. A lot of the time I withdrew or defended myself so I understand what you are up against. And you simply can't win an argument with her. And I think any R "talk" would probably fuel more argument unless there was a skilled mediator, but this may backfire because she may get defensive. I tried in vain to get my W to "fight fair" instead of constantly hitting below the belt. Anyway I worry you will wear yourself down unless W can take a good hard look at herself in the mirror before too long. The wedding ring business is another big issue - it seems like you are deadlocked on this. I myself am tempted to cut my wedding ring with a pair of pliers and send it to W! How about at some point getting brand new rings and retaking your marriage vows? Looks like you have found several ways to "connect" using your advanced DAM tools - drinks, TV, Barcelona, nights on the town, remodeling, hot sex, etc. - keep doing more of this. I understand W is too embarrassed to face family and friends after f'ing around with OM. But a C is kind of neutral and private. Anyway you've got to get W's a$$ moving in the right direction.
