I guess the confusing part is this: When she says she felt like I never loved her. I have to tell her why it isn't so.
And this one! The most you say is, "I'm sorry you feel that way." You think telling her her feelings are wrong is going to get you anywhere? Better to just say nothing. She FEELS like you never loved her. That is a fact. You can argue until you are blue in the face about whether you did or not, it doesn't change what she feels, right now. But it makes sure that she doesn't think you understand her.
This isn't about black and white, right and wrong. If you want to look at it that way, you might was well pack it in. It's about feelings, and emotions, and thoughts that neither one of you can completely control. You are upset at her, because she seems to be out of control. Well, look in the mirror Phil, and see the man that she feels is out of control. That isn't right or wrong, it just IS right now.
Get your focus off of her, and what she is, or isn't doing. Look at you, and what you are, or are not doing. You are still trying to control her. The result of that is almost certain.
