They can. But she doesn't want too. That wasnt the plan. There was no plan. I don't know she dropped them both off and didn't even bother to come in or talk to me. She just said she needed to go shopping.
Then at 10 we text her to come pick up daughter. She said in a little bit. Than at 10:45 She said she was at a friends and wanted to stay longer.
I told her she could stay out all night she is only hurting her kids. Daughter does not want to stay here.
What am I suppose to tell the kids.
now she will not answer phone. If she wanted to stay out she should have told kids.
Quarter to twelve and she says she will be here soon.
She is not acting like a mother anymore. She is acting like a teenager with no responsibilities.
So why do I bother telling her how screwed up she is. When it is going in one ear and out the other.
I'm thinking I want to file now. I want to crash this marriage right into the ground. No more head trips!
Midnight and she shows up looking like a little sex kitten. Little short skirt and high heels. She never dressed like that before. She doesn't want to get out and she calls me. I said well I need help and you can carry out your laundry. Why should I. Then I said well you don't you can go to the laundromat next time.
I'm calm as a cat with her. My tone is just flat with her. So there is no reaction from her. I just said you are very rude for doing this to your kids. If you wanted to stay out then you should have made arrangements with me. Sorry it wasn't planned. Her whole life isn't planned.
At least we didn't fight. I wasn't sad. I just kind of told her like it is. I kissed my son and carried him to the car and buckled him in.
I went around to the other side and kissed daughter.
I went to her window and knocked so that she would look then I smiled and waved.
I didn't ask her about her wearabouts. At least I did that part right. I did not attempt to hug her. I did not attempt to get anything else out of her.
Some guy creamed me on my way home from work today.
Goose egg and contusion on left forehead above my eye. Minor concussion as I only blacked out briefly as my head slammed into the steering wheel. Black eye tomorrow. My SUV.....destroyed, his car...unrecognizable.
I'm so having fun already.
Drugs.......Priceless.
Phil
Get it together! PLEASE!
But I do have the 3 day weekend to look forward to!
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
I guess the confusing part is this: When she says she felt like I never loved her. I have to tell her why it isn't so.
And this one! The most you say is, "I'm sorry you feel that way." You think telling her her feelings are wrong is going to get you anywhere? Better to just say nothing. She FEELS like you never loved her. That is a fact. You can argue until you are blue in the face about whether you did or not, it doesn't change what she feels, right now. But it makes sure that she doesn't think you understand her.
This isn't about black and white, right and wrong. If you want to look at it that way, you might was well pack it in. It's about feelings, and emotions, and thoughts that neither one of you can completely control. You are upset at her, because she seems to be out of control. Well, look in the mirror Phil, and see the man that she feels is out of control. That isn't right or wrong, it just IS right now.
Get your focus off of her, and what she is, or isn't doing. Look at you, and what you are, or are not doing. You are still trying to control her. The result of that is almost certain.
I do hope Phil starts taking head of what is being said to him. I really can't believe he said he was ready to give up. Hell, he's got so much going great he can't even see it.
I realize in times of hurt and despair we tend to over emphasize on our hurt, but Phil is just taking it to the limits eh?
I agree with you........he's needs to see in color.
Yes Jeff, thank you, I am fine. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger!
I can look on the positive side.....if they total my vehicle, they will pay it off, thus Rich will not have control of it and I can buy me a new one thats all in my control.
God does work in myserious ways right?????
I just wish I didn't have such a wicked headache to go with....
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
I guess the confusing part is this: When she says she felt like I never loved her. I have to tell her why it isn't so.
And this one! The most you say is, "I'm sorry you feel that way." You think telling her her feelings are wrong is going to get you anywhere? Better to just say nothing. She FEELS like you never loved her. That is a fact. You can argue until you are blue in the face about whether you did or not, it doesn't change what she feels, right now. But it makes sure that she doesn't think you understand her.
This isn't about black and white, right and wrong. If you want to look at it that way, you might was well pack it in. It's about feelings, and emotions, and thoughts that neither one of you can completely control. You are upset at her, because she seems to be out of control. Well, look in the mirror Phil, and see the man that she feels is out of control. That isn't right or wrong, it just IS right now.
Get your focus off of her, and what she is, or isn't doing. Look at you, and what you are, or are not doing. You are still trying to control her. The result of that is almost certain.
Very very good post Jeff! I consider myself to be a LBS turned into a WAW and emotion beats logic hands down every time. Phil, you are getting such terrific advice here and I am seeing improvement in your mind set though every time I think you're starting to get it together you appear to be crashing and burning. It almost seems like you are scared to be nice in case you get attacked again. Jeff, Ian and Jeanette are posting awesome stuff (I'm sure others are too, but that's who I remember at the moment) to you and you just keep replying "Yeah but,...she did this".
Jeanette, I hope you are okay! Do you have your own thread? I'd like to post to you but I don't know where you 'live'.
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
