"After the past four months, I no longer know what is or isn't. It's all been scrambled by emotion."
That was a really cool thought. Honestly.. I am surprised you realized it. That is fabulous.
Uncertainity is the only certainty.
"I go thunking along, getting some things but feeling like I'm walking through a caves full of tunnels."
Doing Work.. is just that. You can't unlearn all the stuff.. and figure it all out.. in a week. Work starts with the understanding of what needs to be done. Then you have to make a plan.. or read the instructions. You might need tools.. so you have to gather them close. Then once you have everything in place.. you Work.
My plan seems to be avoiding contact with spouse except when I've had enough time away to feel comfortable around him. I just want to shake this cloak of discomfort off and not care.
Sometimes.. the instructions.. or your plan of attack.. don't fit. Then you have to stop and regroup. Now the Work you have accomplished.. is still there.. so you need to pick back up and finish.
Try, assess, adjust.
My focus has been on me, on the kids.
Don't expect that just because you understand it better.. it will make it any easier.
Darn.. just when I was hoping for a gimme.
"So, I keep what works for me with DB. If working some of the relationship techniques puts me in a stuck position, it's not the time to do them. I have to work on me."
Work on other relationships. I think you kinda are anyway.. but working on you can bring about friends. Use some of the new "tools" on people you know. Remember.. Practice makes Perfect.
When I start behaving like the old Kathleen, I try and change my attitude, going almost straight to DBing. Half the time I'm saying something in mid-sentence, get the oopsie, I've done it again... and then ask a question and listen. But my oh my do I love to hear my voice!
I'll finish up the rest later.. goodness I am tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired!
