For the Guy with kids and a WW5

[hopeful4her]

I'm too good of a person to do something so childish. I'm better than that.

It's nice THINKING of stuff like that, though.

Will work on me, more. I have promised myself and my God that I will be there for her in this illness. Non-negotiable for me, I'm afraid. I am not her.

I'm confident that she'll see the light some day. I know it is not over. Question will be, will I still want her. Everyday, she chokes off a little more of my love for her. My God is a God of hope. So I have hope. For her and for us.

BTW, roomie called about 30 minutes ago. I've been timing her. I know she worked late. She went in late. Should have been home close to 7:15 to 7:30. She calls at 7:36. She had picked up nephew from work and taken him to Golds gym and co-signed him for a membership. She was trying to talk to me. I gave one word answers. Playing it cool, not mean. She gets a call. Comes back and tells me it was a co-worker I have met. Long pause. I'm sure she was waiting for me to ask something or question why she was calling her. She finally comes out and says that they are going out for a drink. I say ok. Long pause again. She wants to talk to D11.

I give phone to D11.
"What?!"
"Awww, mom."
"Ok"
"I will."
"Aww man."
"Whyyy?"
"Alright"
"Love you too."
"Ok"

She told her she was going out with a friend from work. She will be home soon. Not staying out late. Be home sooner than you think.

How can the mind not race? I know her pauses were her waiting to test me. Sarcastic remark. She got none. Just a simple, quick ok.

She wouldn't be THAT ballsy. Not after today.

I believe her.

When she comes home, won't say anything.

Maybe, "Glad your home safe."

Gonna go make some cookies with my D's.