"After the past four months, I no longer know what is or isn't. It's all been scrambled by emotion."
That was a really cool thought. Honestly.. I am surprised you realized it. That is fabulous.
"I go thunking along, getting some things but feeling like I'm walking through a caves full of tunnels."
Doing Work.. is just that. You can't unlearn all the stuff.. and figure it all out.. in a week. Work starts with the understanding of what needs to be done. Then you have to make a plan.. or read the instructions. You might need tools.. so you have to gather them close. Then once you have everything in place.. you Work.
Sometimes.. the instructions.. or your plan of attack.. don't fit. Then you have to stop and regroup. Now the Work you have accomplished.. is still there.. so you need to pick back up and finish.
Don't expect that just because you understand it better.. it will make it any easier.
"So, I keep what works for me with DB. If working some of the relationship techniques puts me in a stuck position, it's not the time to do them. I have to work on me."
Work on other relationships. I think you kinda are anyway.. but working on you can bring about friends. Use some of the new "tools" on people you know. Remember.. Practice makes Perfect.
"I'm getting a little tired of always getting upset after talking to spouse."
Work is hard.. you will always have some Emotion tied up here. And it is easier to go with what you know.
""constructive destruction" always made me feel better."
I don't know that I would have thought of that as a GAL activity.. but I can see where it would work. I am gonna tuck that away in the memory bank. You may see it used sometime.
"So much of this time has been spent in self doubt, feeling like what I do accomplish isn't enough."
Just to point out.. the SIL was seeking you out.. Now.. I am a bit slow.. but I think she saw all the hard work you did.
"It was a great feeling to address an issue and feel comfortable about it."
Excellent!
I have an odd question.. or statement.
The bump on the head.. I seem to remember you spent a lot of time doing "nothing". Could this "physical activity" that seems to calm you be a "effect" of that? Please.. don't take that wrong.. I am just not really sure how to word that question.
"I'm almost thinking that it would be best if just the kids go to the BBQ."
You go.. and let them decide if they want to. Worst case.. you end up going alone. SIL called you.. I gotta expect.. she would like to see you.
"I felt myself regressing to the cower in the cobwebs persona because I was afraid someone got angry at me.. maybe even a few people did. Guess what.. I faced it, posted about it.. dealt with it. That felt positive."
Now see.. I have to go read MFT's thread now.. I feel I missed some Drama. God I hate that. (I kinda knew something was up.. Now I gotta go read it.) Like I did not have enough reading to do..
"My infamous brother suggested I bow out of the BBQ. I know folks will be drinking (and they can drink) and since I won't be, it might get a little tough. More stuff than is needed might come out.. or I may trip and say too much. In the past his family has not been the nicest to me. Perhaps I'll invite my niece to come down this weekend and hang with us instead of going to the fete."
This kinda changes things.. maybe. I am confused.
The party.. yea I missed something.. maybe. I just read start to finish this post.. I reserve the right to question you.. later.. tonight!
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
