The OM is not supporting her habit. I am 99% sure of that. She actually just texted me again and asked for money twice. One of my business checks came and she actually opened it and told me how much it was for and asked for half of it.
I said that I would think about it after I see how many other expenses I have I would give her an answer. I said that basically just to stall, I have no intention on giving her half the check. I cannot be an enabler anymore - that's actually what was stressed from gam-anon. I will support the kids obviously and get them what they need, but I have to be firm and cut her off financially. Now, don't get me wrong, this has nothing to do with control, spite or anything like that it has to do ONLY with the gambling. I am praying and hoping that by following gam-anon advice and cutting her off that it opens the door for a discussion about the casino or even an emotional crash on her part. All she has to do is reach out for help and she'll have all the support and help from everyone in the family as well as all her friends.
I have no idea how this OM is affecting the situation. All I know is that she is having some really bad mood swings, neglecting the kids, the house, the vehicle even her friends and family. her sister and mom even mentioned how moody she is and how her moods are swinging. How much of it is due to the gambling guilt? I don't know, but i would assume it's a great burden on her.
My sitch is really unique because of the health issues and the gambling which is why I'm on these boards. Don't really know what to do next.
I still think about giving her a letter for two reasons.
One - it's non confrontational and I can cover a lot of stuff that I've been wanting to say to her and probably would forget or not even be able to cover in a conversation.
Two - she can read it on her own time without me being there or worrying about getting into an argument etc.
I was talking to a relationship C a while ago and he mentioned that if you are having a hard time communicating or finding it difficult to avoid arguments because of resentment etc. that maybe it would be better if we both wrote each other a letter and expressed our thoughts and feelings.
(My wife has not spoken to this guy and is not even aware that I've talked to him.)
I can always give the letter and in the letter itself ask her to write her thoughts down. I don't see how it could hurt the situation since we hardly talk at all. I've already written about half of it and just been sitting on it debating if I should give it to her or not.
- Scott
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