I only read the last three posts of yours so I'll just address the things you asked.
You asked about using words of affirmation now that your relationship is on the skids. I say that it is possible (if you actually still talk), but you have to be careful with how you do it. Come on too strong and it's pursuing.
Okay, so her issues (which to me also suggest WOA as LL): You talk about yourself, not her. You have not been supportive of her career By default, this also says that you haven't valued her as a person, just your own career and yourself (it doesn't matter if it's not true, just if that's her perception of reality).
This is a situation where you may have to venture really close to relationship talks. You have to find ways to validate her value as a person and to you without making it fakey or over-the-top pursuing. 1. Since she still seems to want to fight some...that gives you an opportunity to validate. "I can see how it would feel that way to you." or "I can see how that would be painful and even make you shut down your feelings." Can you see it? If not, try to see it. 2. You need to find some ways to make indirect compliments that show her that you do value her. Consider, "that's always been your strong suit, not mine." "You were always good at x,y, or z". These really do get to be easy. You just think about her strong suits and find ways to subtle introduce them into discussions. 3. Use questions as much as you can get away with. It sounds like you should ask about her career some..."how was work. Has it been satisfying." (those were weak ones...you know her job, so think about what's important about it). Listen to her complaints about it. If you hit this "career issue", it gives you opportunity to show interest, find indirect compliments about her abilities (ie "I'm sure you handled that great since you do x,y,or z so well), and you validate that she doesn't feel you supported her (that doesn't mean you didn't support her career, just that you understand that she feels that way). You have to think about these things some. It can't be false flattery, but there must be things you've never told her before or often enough about what her strong suits are.
Lastly, sometimes there comes a time to just sit still. Be strong, be happy, be polite, be a good guy, but don't be aloof or always gone. GAL is fine, but excess makes it look like you don't give a crap. It's okay to just be still. Let her world unravel around you while you stay solid.
Any of that any help? Think about it. Try to introduce some WOA into conversation.
Me
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
