Groans loudly....I knew that I should have never revealed that. Keep in mind that my degree is far, far away from here, in the so-called 'hard' sciences: nothing to do with people or even living organisms. Around this joint, I'm just the cranky old panther (with a big heart) from The Jungle Book, and no more expert than anyone else.
Quote:
...on something that I had never seen before when commenting on Silly's thread - maybe I have this "Taken in Hand" type of relationship with my own wife.
A few strong cautions are in order here:
(1) It may be hard to tell the difference between a woman who is sexually submissive or just sexually inhibited. Many women, who might even prefer a more dominant, or at least a 'switch' role, in the bedroom don't know how, because of their Nice Girls Don't upbringing and a desire to avoid hurting their man's male ego. It's hard to tell from what you've described.
(2) There are many women (and some men) who prefer to be sexually submissive by night, but dominant (or at least equal) by day in their relationship with their spouse. This is just their bedroom-style, not their life-style. In today's society and 'modern,' equal partner marriages, I would guess that most sexual subs fall into this category.
(3) The Taken in Hand (TIH) relationship has two key components: first, it is male-dominated both in and out of the bedroom, and second, it is the free choice of both partners to have this kind of relationship. It cannot be set up by coercion, or by tradition: only by the woman's free consent and choice. It's probably only for a minority of couples in today's society.
So there's my warning flares. Research everything and then --> talk to you wife <-- and get her input. If it's something she wants / has been wishing for, she may not be able to say so directly, but she needs to be clear enough for you to take the hint. If it's something that she objects to, then she will hopefully make that clear too.
Best regards,
-- B.
Last edited by Bagheera; 07/03/0807:39 PM.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
