Dance, I'll try coaxing the "talk" form her, I like your suggestions. I won't be rushing into anything on the "taken", but it is an interesting revelation for me. She really disagrees with much of what the feminist movement pushes, but growing up when we did you can't help having it seep in a bit.
I'm waiting for Doc B's book when it hit the shelves, I have learned so much from you man. You really could write a book on this topic.
I just never thought of my wife as submissive. My thinking was always that she just wasn't that much into ML. BTW she is not into pain at all. It's not about the roughness it's more about my taking the lead role. I think that applies to other areas of our relationship too. During our trouble years I wasn't leading, I was following. I'd go along with whatever decisions she made, which looking back she didn't want to do. The less involvement for me back then the better.
It makes sense to me now, "what happened to this man I wanted to depend on." I was this wimpy quarter-of-a-man, why would she want to ML with me? "He can't lead in our marriage, how can he lead in the bedroom?"
Good news I am working on strengthening all aspects of my new life with her and it shows now in a big way.
