The book is based on the fact that men and women speak two totally different languages and it is difficult for us to get our point across by talking. Even though each might mean the same thing when we are talking it is said usuing different words that not only confuses the other person but usually makes matters worse.
How many times have you tried to talk to you H about something and he takes it the totally wrong way. So you try again and it makes it worse, so you try one more time. Now your both upset and arguing over an issue that wasn't even what you started out wanting to talk about. It was just how you said it.
It is about how to make your actions do the talking. It is alot like DB and DR but gives it to you from a different POV. I actually read this book before DB and it helped me with dealing with my W. I said the whole way thru it thats me.
We react to what the person is saying because that is not how we would have said it. We are miscommunicating not because of what we are saying but how we say it.
Now that I think about I should go back and reread it, it has been over a year and I probably need to refresh my memory.
I am hopeing the peace last also. Ever since Friday I have had no desire to snoop or worry about what she is doing. It seems odd you would think I would be on pins and needles but the guy's reaction to me and what was happening made me belive it was mostly innocent. Most likely a EA but not a PA. Not that an EA is good but I can see why and how it happened and my part in it.
