That's just it Phil, you are making it to complicated.
In AA they have a saying..KISS Keep it simple stupid.
You have to relax and let this be natural instead of so forced. The DB principles are not complicated unless you try and overanalyze every situation.
You have to get in a mode of simply knowing the basics to start with.
1. No R talk- Simple enough 2. Detach- as weird as it sounds, do not personalize her actions. 3. GAL- Stay focused on your kids and you. Do some things that don't involve thoughts of your wife. 4. Validate- When she does choose to speak to you, simply validate and no more.
Start with those four and in time it will become more comfortable for you to work in other DBing techniques. You must master the basics before you go further.
Look at it like this, you wouldnt take intro to spanish and then move to Mexico and expect to be afluent would you?
Phil, you have been getting so much better over the last week or so and even though you may not see it, you are making progress.
