(((na))) I am sorry. I know finding that on the computer has to hurt. Good for you for thinking this through before confronting him. Has your H previously had a problem with porn? When is your next C appointment? Do you think it would be a good time to address it then? If you do decide to say something before C, maybe approach it with concern. Ask him why he feels the need to look at porn?...why he is finding unhealthy ways to spend his time rather than working? I don't think I would pull it up on the computer for him to find...letting him know that you know. That seems kind of passive-aggressive...seems to me it would embarrass him and make him feel even guiltier. IMO, it is something that needs to be calmly and openly discussed with care and concern with or without the C there.
Keep reminding yourself that your H is using this as another form of self-medication. It is a way for him to continue avoiding. Do you know why he has a fear of real physical and emotional intimacy?
This is so hard and I so admire how you are handling everything. Keep being strong...I am sure this will eventually get easier.
