When you are in a position of power and you manage people:
(i) You do not take sides or illustrate a bias towards one person that you manage over the other.
(ii) You take responsibility for your own decisions even it is based on feedback you receive from the other people you manage. That creates a divisive and polarizing environment. For example, you mentioned that 5 posters objected to the type of posts on BH and figs thread. Now posters may be looking at each other wondering who said what. Use the word "I did ___ based on ___ policy." And always explain "why" - otherwise you create an atmosphere where people are not quite sure what was done wrong and may guess the wrong thing.
(iii) Do not use words that posters have used against them. I noticed that an irate poster used the term Nazi - and you joined another poster in talking about this poster in a derogatory manner. That type of behavior promotes score-keeping. People say things they do not mean when they are irate. DB teaches us to not engage in score-keeping. To de-escalate - not escalate situations.
(iv) Now for the issue of the disappearing and reappearing threads. Have the courage to take responsibility for what you did. I work 24/7 and check these thread when I am bored - I saw the other thread disappear/reappear. I also saw this thread disappear/reappear. You may pretend otherwise - but you and I both know. And the truth is I have seen your posts and other threads reappear/disappear. Perhaps you need to take the time to think your decisions through before you make a decision.
(v) The issue of my appearance. In my younger days, my appearance has been compared to that of supermodels. I was approached to model by a serious agency when I was younger. I met a cosmetics company rep on my last vacation that asked me to contact her if I wanted to be in adds for 40 something people that look young b/c they use their product. I love to eat so clearly that profession would not have been a good fit for me. I like being a size 8.
So yes - I face far more unwarranted inappropriate attention from some men than perhaps other women.
(vi) I was born in 1965. Yes, you are surrounded by Indians now. I suspect very few if are my age and born and raised here. If you read my posts carefully - you would see that is one of the reasons - I have not had the opportunity to date Indian men that are my age that were born and raised her. Even at the seminar - I was among the "older" crowd.
(vii) My brain/work. Yes, I am smart. I am usually the youngest one in a group. Currently most of my equals are in their 50's and 60's. Add my younger appearance to responsibilties that are typically handled by men 15-20 years older than me - yes it is a challenge. While I may post about my issues - my success is a testament to the fact that it has not way held me back.
(viii) I am not ashamed of my heritage nor do I want to hide it. If I felt that way I would have kept The X's last name. He was from Germany. I changed my last name back knowing full well that my last name would immediately be highlighted when I fly and used my passport for international travel.
I was angry that you had deleted my thread - and my reaction was not the most mature. I would think as a trained moderator you would see that instead of banding with those posters that I have a known history of a not so great R.
I have decided to no longer post here b/c my current issues are not ones that most people on this BB can relate to or advise me on. I would be better served interacting with like-minded people. A lot of the work I did on myself helped me get to the point where I realized that I have a choice in deciding who I want to interact with. And as I am getting a life, I find I have far more in common with these people.
That is not to say there are not like-minded people on this BB. But they are busy surviving their D - and well I have survived mine. Perhaps I will bump into these people in another place at another time - and if that happens it will be my pleasure to make their acquaintance.
I will respond to posts on my thread if I feel there is a point in responding to them on this thread. I will not longer be posting about my own issues. I will not start another thread once this one is complete.
I would like to request that you please delete all my old threads from this forum. I like to do a periodic housecleaning and would appreciate your assistance.
