Thank you Sandi2 for posting this and I hope you don't mind me sharing it with Phil!!
Some good rules for you to follow Phil as your breaking them all.
1. Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or implore! 2. No frequent phone calls to him.......let him be the one to call you. Then don't try to hang on to him through conversation.....say good-bye first. 3. Do not point out good points in marriage or try to get him to read marriage books, etc. 4. Do not follow him around the house like a puppy dog trying to get his time and attention. (Remember, you are drawing him back with this technique.) 5. Do not encourage talk about the future. 6. Do not ask for help from family members. 7. Do not ask for reassurances (That is showing neediness and being clingy.) 8. Do not buy gifts. (Can't buy his love and affection.) 9. Do not schedule dates together. (That is pursuing.) 10.Do not spy on spouse. (Not good for you and will make matters worse.) 11.Do not say "I Love You" (It is being "pushy" and trying to make him say it too......he will despise you for it.) 12.Act as if you are moving on with your life! 13.Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive at all times! 14.Don't sit around waiting on your spouse – get busy, do things, go to church, go out with friends, etc. 15.When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation---then don't, wait for him)then,be scarce or short on words. If he asks what's wrong....just say "nothing". Keep it short and simple. Don't get into an argument! 16.If you are in the habit of asking your spouse his whereabouts, ASK NOTHING!! No matter what time he comes home! 17.You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you are going to move on with your life, with or without your spouse. 18.Do not be nasty, angry or even cold - just pull back and wait to see if spouse notices and, more important, realize what he will be missing. (But never ask him if he has noticed any changes!!) 19.No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. Show him someone he would want to be around, somebody that is attractive and fun. 20.All questions about marriage should be put on hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while) 21.Never lose your cool! Don't let him trap you into a fight. 22.Don't be overly enthusiastic b/c it will come across as fake. 23.Do not argue about how he feels (it only makes his feelings more negative.) 24.Be patient......very, very patient. Give him space and time. 25.Listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you 26.Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out (or scream and yell). 27.Take care of yourself (exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your life that are not in turmoil) 28.Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly. Read self help books, inspirational books or tapes. 29.Know that if you can do 180's, your smallest CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any words you can say or write. 30.Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy 31.Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse 32.Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because he is hurting and scared. 33.Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel. 34.Do not backslide from your hard earned changes.
Change the Policy. Allow PM's Free all of us.
Also some new and improved emoticons would be nice!
