For the Guy with kids and a WW5

[Puppy Dog Tails]

OK; makes sense.

[hopeful4her]

Leaving for work. No less than 5 email exchanges today with roomie. I won't bore ya'll with the details.

Its been over a year that we've had that much contact in a day. Just then, they used to have "I love you" or "my love" or "just thinking of you".

Those were the days.



Ok, adding an edit. Make that six email exchanges. One just as I was logging off.

Too funny.

[hopeful4her]

Up early this morning. Couldn't sleep.

Got home last night, made a quick bite to eat. Waited for roomie to come home so that we could all go to the movies. She comes home, we rush to see Kung Fu Panda. Found out it was on Imax only. Not wanting to pay $51, we decided on Wall-E. Cute movie. Roomie and I fell asleep during the movie. Come home, find out puppies had escaped the pen, but all waiting for us. Get everyone to bed. Roomie and I change clothes. Her in bathroom. She did not shut door all the way. She comes out and catches me pulling up my shorts. To bed.

In bed, I remember to tell her the bar joke. She laughs. Likes it a lot. D6 comes into room. She is scared, and lays with us. Later, D11 comes in. Not fair. She lays at our feet. Roomie gets up later and head to D's room. She sleeps with D6 and I stay in bed with D11.

Something wakes me up at 4. Maybe my nephew moving about the kitchen. Her purse is by the front door. Miracle. She didn't put it by her side of the bed. I know she thought about it, because we walked right past it going to bed. She just closed it up.

I decide to look. I know the amount of the loan she took out. I don't think I saw where she paid any L. She might have been bluffing me. And she has pretty much spent the money. Down to a couple hundred bucks. She has a $14 cash deposit ready to make to her account from something. I check the secret phone.

Lunch with OM confirmed yesterday. Some tms. ILY's. Her saying she didn't get dessert. Blah, blah, blah.

I do see a couple of tm's from last week from him. "I didn't do sh**" and another saying,"Thats not fair".

Reason for her bad mood this past weekend?

Seems like she made an effort to cool it, but his persistance paid off this week.

Not sure how she intends to move out on August 1. That is when the apartment is available. She has not mentioned actually signing a lease, yet.

I will stay polite, but distant. Gonna have to initiate a talk. Maybe tonight or wait for the weekend. Maybe take the kids to grandmas to spend the night Saturday night. Roomie and I both work Saturday. I get out at 12 noon and her at about 6:30.

Thinking of bringing up the apartment. Has she signed? If not, when does she intend to? Did she ever have any intention of leaving OM? Why does she feel like she can keep doing this to me? Goals of the separation? Let her know that as long as OM is in the picture, she has killed our friendship. She has lost my family, she has lost the respect of her aunt and uncle and cousin in Laredo. She has lost our best friends. She has disrespected herself, our family, me and whatever God she now prays to, because it is not the same God I love.

Maybe write her a letter. Letting her know that I know she never had any intention of ending it with OM, and that she HAS lost my friendship, and she needs to move out asap.

Or do I just go about my business? Just pull back and let her move out? Cherish the short time that I may have with my kids on a full time basis.

????

I think I know what Puppy would say. I guess I will do more like Kat said.

We have an appointment with the neurologist today at 1. I might tell her she can go on her own.

She just got up and walked in.

[Dr LOve]

hopeful4her

Man I feel for ya guy. It's brings me back a year ago. You don't want to read the messages, you don't want to really know when the meet. BUT YOU DO. and every word is like a knife stab.

Wish you and I could go out for a drink..

Take care buddy

H

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I think I know what Puppy would say. I guess I will do more like Kat said.

Well, there you have it then!

[hopeful4her]

I know.

I mean, I KNOW that she didn't end contact. In my mind I was thinking she was trying to end, but maybe my heart knew better. Things certainly felt good between us again. But then again, why wouldn't she feel good. I give her the best of me.

I don't think I'm being good to her to trick myself. I feel like I'm doing it for another reason. It makes life easier to endure when things feel nice. And I'm trying to make her see what she will miss when she is gone.

I just needed to verify my suspicions. And I did.

[kat727]

Then you know what you need to do. Making things easier sometimes got us here. Enjoy your holiday and then time for firm talk. Hugs.

kat

[hopeful4her]

My plan going forward is to be polite, but not go out of my way for her. Just take care of myself and my kids. Stop planning and assuming things as a family together. I will answer her nicely, but not try to initiate convo unless I need to. Always remain upbeat. Nonchalant.

I have to distance myself from her.

If she calls me about meeting her for the doctor appointment today, I was thinking of telling her that maybe OM can go with her.

But I'm better than that.

I have to keep the high road. At this point, is there really a need for a talk? Maybe just factual stuff.

Has she signed the lease?
When does she plan on signing?
When is her move in date?
When is she going to cancel her direct deposit?
When can I expect her to cancel any auto payments from the joint account?
When does she want me to separate her cell phone into her own name?
Separate the car insurance?

Any other suggestions?

If things get out of hand or start going downhill, I'm going to tell her that if she has no intention of ending it with OM, just file the D papers.

[hopeful4her]

Got off work early to meet roomie at neurologist appointment. She showed up late. She looks surprised. She thought I was going to forget. Or hoping I would forget. I am still being pretty quiet. She is trying to engage me a bit. I answer and chat a little. We waited for over an hour. She says I could leave it i want to. I say no. I'm staying. We were sitting on a love seat.

Love seat? Yeah right.

She goes to the bathroom, comes back and sits with her arm resting on my shoulder.

Damn her.

We get called and go to the room to wait some after they checked her vitals.

While we are sitting and waiting for the doc, her secret phone gives off a tone.

I suppose a tm. Not sure. We are sitting kind of across from each other. She pauses, picks up her purse, starts digging and finds the phone. She checks it and puts it back. Never looked up at me.

I am sitting there like, WTF, but I don't show it. I continue reading without missing a cue. Like a cucumber.

Then I turn into a pickle after about 5 minutes.

"Have you heard anything about the apartment?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Have you signed the lease yet?"
"No, but I am going to. Why are you interested? Thats twice you have brought up the apartment." She has a slight grin.

She always gets a grin when she is guilty of something or trying to get out of something. Or lying.

"What other time?"
"The other morning, you said something about the apartment and August 1st."
"You don't think I have a right to inquire about you moving? And why are you smiling?" Now I am starting to smile.
"What do you mean?"
"You always smile when you are guilty of something."
"Like the smile on your face? I am not doing anything wrong. I am just fine." She is trying to look as cool as possible.
I give her a look that says that I can't believe she just said that to me and smirk at her.

Five minute pause.

"What do you want to say, Roger?"

"What? Why are still bringing something up?"
"You look like you want to say something to me."

I do, of course, but we are in the room of the neurologist. What am I going to do. Really get into it.

"Nah."

Another 5 minute pause. We are still reading. I am VERY calm and collected. I actually see an interesting article I am reading.


Ok. Can't hold it. I'll ask.

"I thought you were trying to give up Tom."
"What?"
I repeat.
"What does he have to do with my moving out?"
I pause. How am I going to put this? I am thinking. Where is the damn doctor!
"He has nothing to do with my moving out."
"Whatever. He DOES have something to do with us."
"No he doesn't. You are so fixated on him."
"Yes, he does something to do with us."
"No. We were having problems before him."
"Nothing that we couldn't fix."
"No we couldn't."
"Nothing. Nothing we couldn't fix."

She is staring at me. I stare back.

Her phone beeps again. She checks it and puts it back.

It took all I had not to go grab that phone and stomp it.

She is looking at me again.
I am looking back at her.

Doctor shows up. We go through everything. He talks and talks. He asks a question. She looks to me to help answer. A lot of things she doesn't remember.

We give glances to each other. We are in tune with each other. We give looks like the doctor is talking about sh** that has nothing to do with us. The guy keeps going off on tangents. We almost laugh. We are smirking at each other. We know what the other one it thinking. Our look says, "This guy is goofy."

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US?

At the end, the hospital that did all the testing still hasn't sent the test results from Laredo. Nothing. Not much for him to go by. He wants her to do an EEG on Monday, come back to office, and review. He starts to talk about how bad the hospital in Laredo is.

He tells her how lucky she is that I have been around. "Yes, you are very lucky, young lady, that he was there with you. Both times now." She looks at him. She looks at me. He looks at me. I shake my head so that they both see me.

If he only knew. EVERYONE tells her the same. Last year. The doctors, the nurses, the physical and occupational therapists. "You are so lucky to have a husband like you have. Here everyday. I wish my husband was like that. Youre really lucky. You should thank God."

Makes me want to puke. She probably tells herself the same thing. Puke.

He then talks about the little girl they found in Vermont. I am having a intellectual conversation with him that I know roomie is not able to follow. We talk death penalty.

He tells her to not do anything this weekend. Gets on her case about the smoking and her meds. Relax.

Don't attend any hangings, he tells her.

"Maybe my own" she jokes. He says, "Hmm?"

I say, "Doctor, there is only one hanging that she would love to attend."
Roomie is looking at me like she wants to hear the answer too.

"Mine, doc. Mine."

We set the appointment and leave together. She asks where I parked. We parked near each other. Quiet walk.
"Where did you park?" I ask.
"Somewhere around here."
"Look, your over there."
Slightly pausing. "Okaaay. Gotta go to work." She looks at me.
"Drive safe" I say.
It had rained.
She says,"I'll call you later."

What the? She'll call me later?

"Alright" and I walk off without saying anything else.

[attorneytom]

You know..

Sometimes a cat can chase its tail for quite some time before it learns that it is just his tail he is chasing ?

Just me..

AT