Wife Filed And I Need Help With Busting ASAP

[Scott123]

Well I guess I see how the "not taking the blame" can be a
backslide so I put that in my journal under what DOES NOT work.
I don;t consider the above a bad conversation or a bad
backslide just because of how the rest of the day went and
just the way she was acting.

BTW - She probably will be asking for money soon, but I will
only give her 100 dollars since that is the arrangement
we have. That's all I would owe her for the rest of the month.
I know for a fact she is going to have it really hard this
month because her money is almost gone and it's only
the second of July. I hope this will make her see that
being separated like this is not going to be easy financially
at all. I think she is starting to really realize that she
is going to have to get a FULL time job.

My thoughts on her pushing buttons and doing all of this
to test me is based on the following:

1. She did a similar routine in the past whether the OM was real
or not. She stressed wanting to have sex with other men because
they make her feel wanted, going into details etc. and it was
quite obvious to get me jealous. It's actually what brought
us back together sort of. She initiated the conversations
too.

2. She initiated this last conversation after I went dark
on her. hmmmm

3. Just some of the things she was saying are not like her
at all if you knew her. the double talk about not blaming me
and then "I'm the reason why" reeks of trying to get me jealous
or to try and see how I react. as in - will he get angry, go
into a rage etc.

4. The hug was really weird especially how tight she
was holding me and not letting go. I had to kind of
push her off me before the kids came in. She wanted to
keep squeezing me and she was burying her head under
my chin. She could not get any closer to me if she tried.
First physical contact we have had in about 6 weeks.

5. the fact that she stalled me so she could get all dolled
up. I mean she went the whole 9 yards, with makeup, new clothes,
perfume etc. I even asked, "oh, are you going out? Because
you can use my car while we are gone since we'll have the van."
She said "No that's ok, I'm not going anywhere and don't need
the car" hmmmmm

Yeah, I don't really have any ultimatums for her. I mean
I want to help her if anything especially with the
gambling. Hopefully well learn exactly how to do that
at the gambling anon meeting.

Also learned another little tid bit of info today. I was talking
to the older couple we are friends with and she told me that
my W was talking to her about our divorce for a week or so
before she filed and she was unsure what to do. She kept
saying that she thinks she should just send in the paper work.
Our friend said "You better be sure because you are talking
about something that is going to change your lives" and W
was not sure what to do and said she had mixed feelings.

So I'm taking it that shes not committed on the D as much
as I initially thought.

After we got back I simply acted as if everything was fine and
like nothing even happened. I could tell she was scoping me out
and watching my every move and reaction. I simply hung out
with the kids and had a cookout. She went to our friends to
help with a baby who was sick.

Now here's my question.

Should I go really dark now and use LRT and basically have
no contact with her at all unless she initiates... and when
and if she does initiate it just to act "as if" and cut
the conversation short?

I'm wondering if the above was a kind of pursuit by her. I mean
why the heck would she need to contact me at like 5 AM to tell
me she "met someone else"? it seems like she wants me to
chase her or something.

Ugh, this woman drives me nuts sometimes.

- Scott