Originally Posted By: smartcookie
When I respect myself, love myself, take care of myself, have appropriate boundaries, and when I refuse to be a doormat for anyone...when I treat others with respect & dignity....I'm happy.


These are the keys towards taking your life back for yourself. And I see why my W is unable to be happy because she can not answer affirmatively to most of those items. And then there is me with my baggage to further complicate matters. And the end result is a M which flounders and eventually fails.

Originally Posted By: SC
As far as your DD, that breaks my heart. I believe that it's too close to home for your wife. If she hasn't rescued herself, she can't rescue anyone else.

Oh so true. W has a heart of gold and wanted to step in and right an injustice when she first learned of DD15. I remember the very first visit that we had with DD15 and how my W was explaining to her that she was not alone in what she had gone through. She pointed out that she had been through abuse and that so many others have as well and that once DD15 got older & was in a better place that it would be incumbent upon her to find someone who was struggling with the same kinds of difficulties and to help them. I remember that talk very vividly and it really touched my heart.

Originally Posted By: SC
Your daily dose of love, seems like the best medicine anyone could hope for. I wish someone like you would have come into my life when I was that age. I moved out at 16, & was on my own. I hope & wish all the best for you & your family.

The interesting thing is that my W's 2nd step dad was the one that she grew attached to and was her protector and her rock. He escorted her into trial proceedings in the aftermath of the abuse that she suffered at the hands of stepdad #1. Well actually the interesting part is the fact that I bear a pretty solid facial resemblance to stepdad 2 who she always refers to as her "dad". The day that my W met me, the first thing she asked me was, "are you any relation to the W^#@ family" since I reminded her so much of him.


debut thread