Tonight the kids went to their dad's apartment for the first time. It's been four months since he moved out and in with her. Up until now they did not know where their father lived. It's her place, but it's their home. I wasn't sure if the kids were going to meet her, but something my daughter said and then caught herself saying implied it.
When they got back (it's a 1/2 hour drive), my daughter gushed about the puppy 'they' had. It's 2 1/2 months old and rescued from a puppy mill. The kids mentioned the food, bought prepared from a local store and the dog. Nothing else, nor did I ask questions except to show interest in the dog.
Before they left to see their dad, I took time to let my 18 year old know what a great job he was doing, how tenacious he was in having a relationship with his father. How he made it happen.
So based on my calculations, the visit lasted about an hour. The kids didn't say if they'd be going there again or what the plans were. I didn't ask.
I guess my pushing about him slicing the kids out of his life, or maybe my 18 year old working for a relationship with his dad inspired their dad to share 'the life he wants to live' with his kids. Ya know.. I'm just happy that the kids are getting more time with their father. I've even noticed, I refer to him as 'their dad' now, rather than 'spouse' most of the time.
My brother was talking to me about their dad being a dead end for me; that my energy was better used on myself. He wondered if I relished telling the same story over and over about the last phone call with spouse. He asked me how I handled my anger.
I have to admit, I usually keep it in. There's some overgrown rhododedron bushes that will be cropped tomorrow. I'll apply my constructive destruction methodology with gusto.
So, the message is not about him.. but what I have and will grow to be.
I received the application to volunteer at the hospital today and am down for orientation in mid July. It's the one that they do for doctors and staff, two full days. I figure it's a good way to really learn the ins and outs of the place. I really get a kick out of discovering new things!
