ok, So how come, despite all that is going on (and WW is likley at L right now), I feel that I should at some point ask WW if she wants to talk about this (D)? Recall she had asked why I had not wanted to talk a week ago when she said she wanted out.
I know it makes no sense, but it is still nagging at me...
Lost,
You don't want to talk about it because you don't want a divorce. If SHE wants a divorce, she's free to file for one, but she's likely just full of bluster and venom right now.
So the only thing to "talk" about is what -- to try to talk her OUT of something she SAID she wanted to do?
I know, it seems counterintuitive. I'll tell you right now up front, nearly EVERYTHING about DBing is going to seem counterintuitive to you! You feel like you should "talk it out" right now, but there's some problems with that instinct:
1. She's cheating on you, and all cheaters LIE. Period. So you won't be able to trust anything that comes out of her mouth anyway.
2. She doesn't have your marriage's best interests at heart right now, which means she's not to be trusted. An R conversation can be a trap, and is not going to be productive.
3. The fact is, YOU don't want to divorce, so why should you enter into a conversation with her to discuss divorce? It only validates the negative.
Leave the ball in her court, while keeping your guard up. If she repeatedly brings up the D word, then you would be wise to seek at least an initial consultation with a good family law attorney.
