I'll get right on that website, (in my spare time), rofl.
I swear, every time you write something, I think you're me.
Today was great, thank you.
hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
FG, you feel free to jump in anytime. mi casa su casa
I miss our interactions too. I don't know that I'd call them "little".
See you tomorrow. You know where to find me.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Wow cookie - what a journey! It's a little staggering sometimes to realize what heights and depths we hold within ourselves ...
lodo
So is that a polite way of saying "wow, that's f*cked up". LOL
And, you know there's more that I couldn't post. How messed up is that ??? & yet...here I am. H told me last night in bed "hun, you're doing awesome", "at what" I asked, "at everything, making me feel wanted, being warm, nice, friendly, with the kids, with school, with therapy, just everything". It boggles my mind where we were less than a year ago. With as much baggage as I was lugging around, if I can do it, anybody can, IF the other person is willing to try.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
So is that a polite way of saying "wow, that's f*cked up". LOL
Well, given how I usually come away from reading your thread with a sobering, reflective kind of feeling, it was a pleasure to be LMAO at this one.
Originally Posted By: SC
And, you know there's more that I couldn't post. How messed up is that ??? & yet...here I am. H told me last night in bed "hun, you're doing awesome", "at what" I asked, "at everything, making me feel wanted, being warm, nice, friendly, with the kids, with school, with therapy, just everything". It boggles my mind where we were less than a year ago. With as much baggage as I was lugging around, if I can do it, anybody can, IF the other person is willing to try.
What a nice convo to have. It sure must be nice to step back and take a solid look at the accomplishments that have taken place in such a short time period. Truly awesome. Well done to both of you.
When I respect myself, love myself, take care of myself, have appropriate boundaries, and when I refuse to be a doormat for anyone...when I treat others with respect & dignity....I'm happy.
These are the keys towards taking your life back for yourself. And I see why my W is unable to be happy because she can not answer affirmatively to most of those items. And then there is me with my baggage to further complicate matters. And the end result is a M which flounders and eventually fails.
Originally Posted By: SC
As far as your DD, that breaks my heart. I believe that it's too close to home for your wife. If she hasn't rescued herself, she can't rescue anyone else.
Oh so true. W has a heart of gold and wanted to step in and right an injustice when she first learned of DD15. I remember the very first visit that we had with DD15 and how my W was explaining to her that she was not alone in what she had gone through. She pointed out that she had been through abuse and that so many others have as well and that once DD15 got older & was in a better place that it would be incumbent upon her to find someone who was struggling with the same kinds of difficulties and to help them. I remember that talk very vividly and it really touched my heart.
Originally Posted By: SC
Your daily dose of love, seems like the best medicine anyone could hope for. I wish someone like you would have come into my life when I was that age. I moved out at 16, & was on my own. I hope & wish all the best for you & your family.
The interesting thing is that my W's 2nd step dad was the one that she grew attached to and was her protector and her rock. He escorted her into trial proceedings in the aftermath of the abuse that she suffered at the hands of stepdad #1. Well actually the interesting part is the fact that I bear a pretty solid facial resemblance to stepdad 2 who she always refers to as her "dad". The day that my W met me, the first thing she asked me was, "are you any relation to the W^#@ family" since I reminded her so much of him.
Distressed, H always said "your approach sucks". lol
oh, & when you get a sec, could you point out the amazing part ?
Thanks for the congrats. I'm enjoying it, but there's a small part of me thats thinking...."it's too good to be true" & what if I jinx it, & there were other times that I thought we were doing great & out of the woods, then something would happen to mess it up & we'd have a huge fight.
I know, I know, just enjoy it. I'm trying.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I can't even remember what happened in December, other than Christmas happened.....I guess it's time for me to go to bed.
Night all.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
SC - I just posted my last nights events, then come read yours. I will keep trying now. I need to grow as a duck so my back is bigger to start with !!!
First thing sfirst, make some plans for my holiday time with boys !!!
Distressed, H always said "your approach sucks". lol
oh, & when you get a sec, could you point out the amazing part ?
Thanks for the congrats. I'm enjoying it, but there's a small part of me thats thinking...."it's too good to be true" & what if I jinx it, & there were other times that I thought we were doing great & out of the woods, then something would happen to mess it up & we'd have a huge fight.
I know, I know, just enjoy it. I'm trying.
Here is why I think you are an amazing woman.
You had, in you mind tryed and tryed and tryed to reach you H and let him now that you were unhappy and that he needed to treat you better. Like the DAM that he is he did not hear you. You were ready to leave to make yourself happy but you didn't.
You went to C on your own. Again you tryed to tell him and he did not listnen. Now for the great part you finally figured out that the only way to reach your H was to smack him upside the head with a club. You told him how he had hurt you, what you were planning on doing and what he need to do to change.
You continued for months to tell him what he need to do if he meet those needs you moved closer and gave him some affection when he didn't you smacked him upside the head with a club again. That is how we need to learn. We need to be told not once but many times what you want before we get it.
I wish my W would understand that. If she would just tell me exactly what I am doing right or wrong it would make it much easier.
Also anybody that fights for their M as you did deservers to be rewarded as you have. Too many people on this board do not. Keep it up and he knows if he does something wrong that club is always within your reach.
