I think you should tell him that you have done a lot of research on the subject of marriage and there is help for couples like you. You want to work together with him to improve the marriage for everybody -- especially the children. (If you don't think he will treat the children the way he now treats you, read Bridgestone's thread.) There is a program called Retrouvaille which is a weekend marital retreat where you go and learn about how to communicate with each other without fighting. Get the dates and location from the website, http://www.helpourmarriage.org.Tell him you want to go to Retrouvaille, and you are asking him to come with you for the sake of the children. They deserve parents who don't fight like crazy people.
ladybug, I think this is an excellent plan. I tend to think you and your husband could talk till the cows come home, till you're both blue in the face, till pigs fly... things are not going to improve until you both learn to effectively communicate. It's a terrible example for the children. You know that and your husband must be aware of it as well. Retro could be the best thing that ever happened to you. I'm sure your husband is a very private man, but he should shelve his pride and need for privacy for the sake of your children.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
