Quoting SPITFIRE: I think I was in the midst of a mild MLC at the time I know my W is going through a major one, the BOMB jolted me from mine W is slowly surfacing from hers.
I had a similar experience and it was a real eye opener to me on just what much I was missing out on that was important to me without realizing it ... including my R's with the people close to me and how much more I can contribute to enriching those R's.
No matter what the future brings in regards to M, I will always be indebted to DBing in what it has made me discover what is important to me.
In order to avoid returning to your "old contolling aggressive ways" is to continue to let her set the pace on where the R goes from here. Take a step back and see if what she initiates. What ever lead you wish to take, keep it in a form of a suggestion or ask first if she would be OK with it. That way you move foward with the baby steps and not try to take bigger ones that may risk a greater backslide.
