Mad Mission (12)

[gForce]

I was in full blown panic mode then. Boy I think about those first few weeks post-bomb. I slept about an hour a day, ate every couple of days. She was such an intimate part of my existence, I truly felt that my life was over if she didn't come back. I tried to decipher every email, every sentence, every facial tic to see if there was any feeling still there. W was ice cold then, too, trying to solidify her decision in her own mind and anxiously making plans to leave and full of excitement about OM. I came to this board for a miracle.

Now the table are turned. She is the one in a tailspin these days, confused, lacking direction. Her R with OM continues but it is no longer paradise. I really feel bad for her. The person she has become is not attractive, but I look at her and I remember the beautiful person I loved and married. But I know my life will be fine. I miss her terribly still but my existence doesn't have her at its core. I have a future I am looking forward to. And I can see the possibility of someone else in it.

Kat, no matter what my W says, I know change is possible. I see it in a lot of people here, and I seen it in you. You will be no less a person on the 12th than you are today. And you will have the freedom to be more. I know you will.