IRMAT, if you are so incline, please don't post this kind of stuff on my thread. We are mostly all divorced on this forum and most of us fought as hard as we could to avoid what we did not want--a divorce. But, despite the pain we have gone through, we are finding happiness post divorce now and that is what this forum is about--supporting each other in our new lives. You are new here and I realize it is part of the healing process to give advice, but perhaps your advice would be more useful in Newcomers or Piecing.
Nicola, I have watched you struggle, and fight and grow and grieve for over 2 years now and I know you did a great job fighting for your marriage and I know you did everything you could. Your grief and sorrow were huge and you have found peace despite your pain--Hallelujah!!! It takes two to make a marriage work--your husband is the one who gave up and although you and I do not have the same faith I respect how you did turn to that faith for help. Sometimes we marry the wrong person and "abuse" can take many forms. YOu were strong enough not to lose yourself to the sorrow.
IRMAT, I'm sure your intentions are good, but if you don't know Nicola's situation, or all that she went through or the stuff her ex put her through (including what some would consider abusive) then please refrain from lecturing to her about what God wants for her. And to be honest, I wouldn't want to be in Steelers shoes for a million bucks although I wish her well it what seems to be a very difficult situation.
Anyway Nicola, I am very proud of you and know you have a wonderful and blessed life ahead of you.
