Yay! OK have fun at dinner. If anything happens like she texts stay calm and prepare now how you want to handle it, like excuse yourself to the bathroom and if she's still at it call it a night politely or whatever but stay calm and have fun!!!
Good for you brother!!! Couple of things, no R TALK!, be happy, wear something nice, shave, smell good. Like tink said think ahead for how to handle if she gets a text don't OVERREACT!
This is all good, you can do this, like Mike said keep it light and fun, just enjoy the company. Baby steps, keep breathing, remember to listen, validate and above all don't act like a star struck kid seeing their idol, you are a man, treat her like a woman not your wife. Be a gentleman get the door pull out a chair even it is Mikey D's, impress her with the man you are becoming.
I understand that I need to prepare something if she does start texting but I am not quite sure what to say. I think I will start with the excusing myself to the bathroom, but if it persisillve to come up with something savvy!
So today after work she called me to come get my S for a while while she takes my D to get some clothes. When I get over there she is showing me all these dresses that she boght to go to California in. She is trying them all on for me and asks me which one I liked best! There was on particular dress that stood out that made her look awesome!! So my W goes back to put on another and my D says you can't tell mom I told you this but she bought these for tonight!! I was like wtf, I also noticed she got her nails done. My D said she is extremely excited about our "date" as she refers to it!
I am stoked for tonight and there will be no R talks what so ever on my part, and hopefully none by her but I am prepared to anser and then get out of the subject cause I don't want to ruin the night!
I will update when I return this evening if I come home..lol in my dreams huh!
When I have more time I will get back at everyone else to check up on you all!!
hey Brian thanks! I wish I could say it is happy but today I am an emotional wreck. Been crying off and on all day and even left work early. I don't know why maybe its the stress of everything and getting older...much older it feels like! I had a major backslide when I met the wife today, I told her to have fun in Cali, and she held my hand and told me she is just going to get away with friends and that is it. I started crying for no reason and left with my S.
As for last night, it was great. Felt like old times! We were laughing having a good conversation and avoiding all R talks. She brought it up once but I bobbed and weaved to avoid it, even though she brought it up I wasn't ready to talk about it and she was in agreement. We had a great meal at a steakhouse and enjoyed a beer. When we left I walked her to the door and said thanks for the good evening, she gave me a hug and smiled. Nothing spectacular but it felt good.
My MIL called yesterday to wish me a happy b-day and we talked for a while. We both had a good cry as we talked about my sitch, and she said she hopes all works out and said I would always be a part of the family no matter what, that made me feel good.
I just wish today felt that good. But I am going to take a shower and gather my thoughts so I can take the kids to dinner.
Glad you enjoyed the dinner but I'm sorry you're feeling down today. I get that way too sometimes even though I can't pinpoint it. Funny, my W and I are so detached I'm starting to imagine the future and its hard to see her in it.
Have a great 4th! I'm having my parents over with D. Don't know what W is doing, she's never mentioned it. Enjoy the kids this weekend.
M 35 W 28 D 4
Bomb 4/28/08 Found out about PA 05/14/08 Separated 5/25/08 (not legally)
"hey Brian thanks! I wish I could say it is happy but today I am an emotional wreck. Been crying off and on all day and even left work early. I don't know why maybe its the stress of everything and getting older...much older it feels like! I had a major backslide when I met the wife today, I told her to have fun in Cali, and she held my hand and told me she is just going to get away with friends and that is it. I started crying for no reason and left with my S."
You're welcome ! Hey man take a breathe, okay you backslide it happens triggers can do that to ya. You now see what can happen when your head isn't 100% on. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. next time you will know better. I don't think you did much damage only time will tell at this point just get up, brush the dirt off and get back to doing work.
"As for last night, it was great. Felt like old times! We were laughing having a good conversation and avoiding all R talks. She brought it up once but I bobbed and weaved to avoid it, even though she brought it up I wasn't ready to talk about it and she was in agreement. We had a great meal at a steakhouse and enjoyed a beer. When we left I walked her to the door and said thanks for the good evening, she gave me a hug and smiled. Nothing spectacular but it felt good."
Good for you, see when your head is 100% and you are prepared things go much easier. You did great bobbin & weavin out of the R talk, she even agreed with that, good communication going on with that. You were the men she fell in love with she even gave you hug on her own accord awesome for you bro! Oh it was spectacular you made good strides in this IMO.
"My MIL called yesterday to wish me a happy b-day and we talked for a while. We both had a good cry as we talked about my sitch, and she said she hopes all works out and said I would always be a part of the family no matter what, that made me feel good."
That's cool you have that type of relationship with MIL, I can relate I love my MIL more than my own mom she is awesome. I will say one thing here, BE CAREFUL remember blood is thicker than water no matter how things are W is her daughter, be cautious in what you say please it could easily backfire on you, with that said MIL could still be a force in your favor, but don't put ideas in her head okay?
"I just wish today felt that good. But I am going to take a shower and gather my thoughts so I can take the kids to dinner."
Exactly, take a step back and regroup enjoy the kids & even take the time to enjoy W being gone this will help your stress level just don't think about her gone, think ah I have a break from all of this If W calls be the man you are, don't push anything, let her do the talking and volunteering. Wish her a good time tell her about the kids don't pry into what she is doing ya hear me?
You can do this, you ARE doing great just regroup, we all backslide the point is to be ready next time.
You enjoy your 4th make those kids smile with some fireworks!
We are going to have a good 4th, but the only fireworks we get out here in the desert are the snap pops...lol! Those are fun for about a minute, but the S loves them!
If W calls be the man you are, don't push anything, let her do the talking and volunteering. Wish her a good time tell her about the kids don't pry into what she is doing ya hear me?