As much as I try not to read, and that is only for the sake of my becoming emotionally overwhelmed, I feel as though I have to.
For me there is much insight to be gained since I have been M'd for 6 years to someone who was traumatized during childhood as you were. The "you will never control me no matter how hard you try" remark is one that I have become accustomed to.
It is just so amazing to me how the two of you have been able to navigate through all these countless twists and turns to arrive where you are today. I am envious for sure. My W may think that she is on a straight path now (or maybe she doesn't think that)that she has brushed me aside. I think the elusive happiness that she has sought will continue to allude her. I do not hope for that, but I feel that her present path will not yield results which are that much different than they have been for her.
The very sad thing is that the child who we were thinking about adopting, and who I consider to be my DD15, is really concerned with why my W has ceased almost all contact with her. In so many ways my DD15 and my W's path in life are very similar. Neglect and abuse were at the core of their respective childhood's. In DD15's case the abuse was on a scale not seen in to many other cases and was over a long period of time. Not to diminish the abuse that my W suffered, because it is all horrific, but her's was a little more acute, I think. In the absence of knowing what to do in the situation with DD15, it seems my W is choosing to just do nothing. It is almost as if she feels that since she herself was able to find her way through life and "make it" (and perhaps that is debatable), that she just figures that DD15 will be fine also. But, with or without W I am on a mission to do everything I possibly can to make DD15's life not just fine but amazing. I surely will never be able to eradicate the wrongs that were done to her but I will dilute there concentration with multiple doses of love, day in and day out.
