Thanks for the warning! Hehe. I actually appreciate bluntness (to a point) because I am fairly blunt myself. Or at least I can be. I'm learning on holding back a smidge here and there.
I do want my marriage to work and I am trying to fight for it rather than against it. I am just getting very down because of this whole "I'm gonna buy my own house" BS! I guess I am trying to prepare myself for (what feels like) the inevitable. I love my husband more than words could possibly say. I truly believe we are meant to be together and cannot really imagine myself with anyone else but I have to put up my guard rather quickly when he starts talking about his "glorious new life" without me and with his new house. I'm not trying to give the impression that I am giving up.
I completly understand that I have a TON of things to work on personally. I cannot be so clingy/dependent in my marriage relationship (any relationship for that matter) and that I need to be more independent and stronger. I need to learn to accept that my husband has his own life and that nagging at him to change will never get me anywhere. I need to learn to control my anger and not to lash out whenever things are not going my way. I am a very flawed person and I accept that. I am very young (even when I feel old) and have a long ways to go. I just wish I could go that long road with someone. . .ideally my husband.
Even if this does not work out and down the road I find someone else I know there will always be problems, whether they are the same or a whole new set. There is no perfect person and therefore a perfect relationship is not possible. No matter how "right" they can seem.
I guess I am mostly frustrated because I feel like now that I finally understand what I need to change about myself it feels too late because my husband already ran away and seems like he is not even affected by the seperation. How do I show him my new changes are for real when I never encounter him? I know it has only been a week and a half but I feel like it might as well have been a year for all the distance there is between us. I just want another chance to make things work.
