Mulesqb still getting kicked in the a$$

[Phoenixdeux]

I can do this and have done it. I'm at the point where I don't care what she does with them anymore (is that detachment). I'm just so tired of worrying about it. When I have done this - she says we are rude.

And being forced to spend every free minute (and now vacations also) with neighbors that you and your kids don't like isn't rude?

I talked it over with my wife. She had some other ideas that I thought were good.

First off, she's basically made a choice that the neighbors are more important to her then you and the kids. She knows how you feel and still proceeds as though your feelings don't matter in this. Her suggestion, and I don't know if you'd feel comfortable with this, is to wait until everyone is together and say to all three of them, "Listen, it's nice getting together, but I feel, and the kids feel, that it's too much. We need some space. Can we limit the time we spend together so we can all get a little more time with W?"

Her other suggestion, which may be less confrontational, is to tell her basically that you feel you need space from the neighbors. Can the two of you agree that they'll only come by maybe one afternoon/night per week? Lastly, she suggested that if your wife is resistant to any compromise that until she's ready to focus more on her marriage and/or kids that she:
1) Should either move to the spare bedroom (if you have one) and start living like a roommate (separate accounts and she pays rent and looks out for herself as far as food, etc)

2) She moves in with the neighbors
3) She moves to someplace else where she can visit to her heart content.