Mulesqb still getting kicked in the a$$

[mulesqb]

1) Embrace the neighbors even more fully than she is. Befriend them to an extent where talking about you with your wife isn't any fun. Be their best buddy. Do let your hair down. Initiate hanging with them without your wife even. (downside, now there are two of you doing what your kids hate)

This is definitely the easiest. I have done it on occasion. It seems to make her happy when I'm around with them - but she gets paranoid that I'm talking about her to them. The kids have told me its ok if I do this, they understand.

2) Go do something else by yourself or with the kids almost every time the neighbors are around. Don't do it spitefully, just excuse yourself and go do something else that you and the kids enjoy. (downside, she may get even more involved with them, but maybe she'll wonder what you are doing)

I can do this and have done it. I'm at the point where I don't care what she does with them anymore (is that detachment). I'm just so tired of worrying about it. When I have done this - she says we are rude.

3) Try to befriend some other people in the neighborhood. Or host some kind of get together for people from work or other than the neighbors. Or include the neighbors in a larger get together and maybe they'll alienate themselves. Or maybe your wife will find a new couple that interests her. Don't know.

We have another group of friends that we do things with (they are great people and very normal). My W is in awe of one of the other Ws. She said that is who she wants to be. The thing is, when we do things with them - she makes sure the neighbors are not around. I don't think sh would want this group of friends to meet them. Also, the neighbors have a way of not showing up for things like this. This group have lives and families so it is not as easy to do things on a regular basis with them.

4) Go out more often with your wife and show her your wild side on those occasions. Don't spiral down the tubes with her, but you can try to do it once or twice a week. Show her that she can have fun with you without the crutch of these neighbors.

I asked her to go out once when I thought she was hinting that she wanted to. She turned me down, so I haven't asked since. I don't think she is ready to go out alone with me yet. Always has to have others involved - how do I break that?? I don't want to come across as pursuing either.