Wife is considering filing - Need Help

[LosingSunshine]

Going to add the other thread Yikes!!!Help!!! to my signature and stop posting on that one.

Last night was interesting and I had to come home and act as if. Of course, it was the first question and when we eventually discussed the topic of selling the house, I told her I didn't want to, I don't want this, and if she does she'll have to take care of it. She asked some clarifying questions (yes, you have to call the realtor etc...) and seemed disappointed in my response to the house sitch. I don't think she really understands that I don't want my M over with. Is she selectively hearing what I am saying? So we got the kids fed, I played with them outback and got them down to bed. She left after dinner and was supposed to be home in two hours...that turned into four. No big deal for me. I would have gone out if she came home but was content just reading threads here at DB. She didn't say anything or pop in when she got home.

This morning she apologized for coming home later than expected and I said no problem. She proceeded to make the kids pancakes after I had already got them dressed and made them some cereal. I guess she feels she needs to step up to the motherly plate as she has been too busy with her personal life and is trying to overcompensate by cooking pancakes? Not sure. I already told her I am not trying to invade her territory, take over her role...and that I am just helping out etc...Strange. She also brought up how two of her girlfriends will be coming over tonight to watch a movie after the kids go down. I said okay because I'll be out with GAL activities tonight. She also said that she'll begin pulling things together for storage. I took the opportunity at that point to reiterate that I don't want to sell the house, I don't want the M to end. If she does, she'll have to do it herself. Not as shocked as last night but wanted to make sure that she understood as she couldn't run away this am to not think about it. Probably not a good idea but what was I to say when she brought it up?

She also asked about my weekend plans and I told her that the kids and I will be going to the pool, having a picnic dinner and doing fireworks on Friday. She said nothing.

I am feeling better and with each day, becoming more at ease with the sitch provided that she doesn't through any stink bombs, like yesterday. I pray the rosary every night asking for strength, courage, wisdom and patience for me and all of you. I pray for my kids and W as well.

I told my mom last night about sitch too. She was surprised and very understanding and had good comforting words for me and will keep me in her prayers as well. She said what we all know and talked about some of the times her and dad had issues and how they were able to work through them. I did not let her know the true gravity of the situation but she knows it's bad and that the D word has been tossed out there.

Still working hard at keeping my PMA, GAL and 180s intact. My life seems very well structured right now and I am getting used to the routine and enjoying it. Going to try to 180 on the smoking starting next week. I need to stop for me and my kids and as long as I can make it one day on the patch without smoking, I'll be fine. I've done it before and I can do it again. Focus on me. Focus on kids.

Sandi, I did have a question for you regarding your post on my Yikes!!! thread. You said that you smell a rat. Can you elaborate? I think that she is getting very biased information and if she would trust others outside of a few people, she might be enlightened to slow down. Of course, I can't do or say anything with regard to this without aggravating the sitch. One of her new friends actually stopped by my office yesterday but I wasn't there (we work at same company) and left a message asking how I was doing and that I should email or call sometime. Should I? The last time we talked I said somethings I probably shouldn't and I don't want to come across to her that I am pursuing my W.

Well not much to really post about today. Looking forward to the 4th. Looking forward to golf in a few hours with my old boss. Looking forward to dinner and playtime with the kids. Looking forward to getting out a little tonight to free my mind of this craziness.